IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better lime to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is noticeable that
one year
Add a hyphen
one-year
show examples
 century ago the advancement of science and technology and several betterment in the areas of community
make
Wrong verb form
made
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 their lives easy and secure.
Singnificent
Correct your spelling
Significant
 improvement in
such
Linking Words
 areas people feel more reliable and confident so I personally
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 advancement is like a boon for human's life and provide some
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 reasons with examples in upcoming paragraphs.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction has some good ideas, but it would benefit from clearer phrasing and organization. Try to define the main points you will discuss and present them in a more structured way.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline your position in the thesis statement. A stronger connection between your ideas and examples is needed to enhance clarity and impact.
task achievement
Include specific examples and more detailed reasoning in your body paragraphs to support your main points. This will enhance your argument and provide a fuller response to the task.
task achievement
You show a clear opinion that supports the advantages of advancements in science and technology, which is a strong start.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • quality of life
  • vaccines
  • antibiotics
  • global connectivity
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable future
  • climate change
  • online education
  • knowledgeable and empowered societies
  • privacy issues
  • mental health impacts
  • economic and societal inequalities
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural shifts
  • traditional social structures
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