IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, people tend to praise or give value to the ones who achieved a higher degree from the university,
while
Linking Words
 others
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that acquiring
work
Use synonyms
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
 seems to have advantages over a college degree.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in the
flowing
Correct your spelling
following
show examples
 paragraphs,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
 and provide my opinion,
supporting
Wrong verb form
supported
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 examples. On one hand, most employers in the current era would choose the candidates from their level of study, which they thought
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could symbolize the certified standard that individuals should meet. Those bosses would have a perspective that
this
Linking Words
 guy would be
compactible
Correct word choice
capable
show examples
 of handling complex assignments
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since he or she has acquired a wide range of skills throughout their learning life.
For example
Linking Words
, logical thinking, analysis, and hard skills will be the accumulated practice that might be adaptable
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
work
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the college certificate would be the benchmark to guarantee these capabilities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some of the recruiters might view that
work
Use synonyms
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 is the main factor to be considered. With
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 understanding of certain
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 and the
post achieved
Add a hyphen
post-achieved
show examples
work
Use synonyms
, the candidates would be easier to adapt to new jobs and have more potential to perform well in their duties.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the employees
applying
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
 for software
engineer
Wrong verb form
engineering
show examples
used
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to run the UX/UI design project, the boss would not have to waste time educating those
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
, since the staff are already
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 on those methods.
To sum up
Linking Words
, in my opinion, both factors
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 considered to be vital. The ones who received
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 level of university degree
while
Linking Words
 gaining some related
work
Use synonyms
 experiences in the past would be the most beneficial person for the company.

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Task Achievement
Try to clearly articulate your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and develops it fully with relevant details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be cautious with grammar and vocabulary choices, as some inaccuracies can affect clarity.
Task Achievement
You've tackled both sides of the argument, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples is good and supports your argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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