IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You currently work full-time in a company but would like to change to working part-time. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, a. Explain why you would like to change to working part-time work b. Say what times and days of the week would suit you best c. Suggest how your work could be covered or completed if you work part-time

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Dear Sir, I am writing to you in regard to my
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in your company. As my father is very old and he needs someone to stay with him. I will not be able to
work
Use synonyms
 on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays
due to
Linking Words
 my commitment to my father, taking
to
Correct pronoun usage
me to
show examples
 the hospital on those days. I would highly appreciate it if you could give me the opportunity to
work
Use synonyms
 on Thursdays and Fridays from 8:00 am to 3:00 pm.
Also
Linking Words
, I can
work
Use synonyms
 on Saturdays if required.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would like to suggest adding two more hours on Tuesdays and Fridays, so I will be able to achieve the target I am doing in the full-time job now. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Rimi Rimi For that reason

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task achievement
Ensure to include a brief introduction of your request to clarify the purpose of the letter from the start. This will help set the tone effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Consider restructuring your paragraphs to maintain one main idea per paragraph more clearly, making your points easier to follow.
task achievement
You clearly explain your reason for wanting to work part-time, which is a key requirement of the task.
task achievement
The letter maintains a mostly polite and formal tone throughout, which is appropriate for a communication with a manager.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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