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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the Japan’s population by age groups starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. AT LEAST 150 WORDS - 190 WORDS.

The chart below shows the Japan’s population by age groups starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. AT LEAST 150 WORDS - 190 WORDS.
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The line graph compares the
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
 citizens of three age groups: Adolescent,mature and senior from 1960 with predicted figures for 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 that there is only an upward trend in
65+
Correct article usage
the 65+
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 and with
projection
Add an article
a projection
the projection
show examples
 of two other groups are expected to fall. Beginning from 1960 to 1970,The 25-64
group
Use synonyms
 growth
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
 point at 70%,followed by
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-14
group
Use synonyms
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 up from 30% to 35% and the 65+
group
Use synonyms
remains
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 5%.
However
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
1970
Change preposition
between 1970
show examples
 and 2000,The adolescent
group
Use synonyms
arruptly
Correct your spelling
abruptly
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 by 15% compared to the senior
group
Use synonyms
 jumps
morderatedly
Correct your spelling
moderately
moderated
 from 5% to 15% .In forty years of the next era, it is
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
 that the 65+
group
Use synonyms
inceases
Correct your spelling
decreases
 immensely strongly
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 25% ;
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-14
group
Use synonyms
, it drops constantly by 10%.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
,the mature
group
Use synonyms
 remains
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
, just
fall
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
 by 5% In 2040, it is forecasted that there will be more seniors than adolescents, when the former will take up 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the population, compared to the latter’s 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples

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Vocabulary: Replace the words group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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