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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land become lesson productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land become lesson productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
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The
illustrates
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illustration
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 compares the main causes of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 worldwide and how these reasons affected
to
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apply
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three big regions over the 1990s. 
Overall
Linking Words
, the largest proportion of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
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 in the world is caused by overgrazing, especially in Oceania.
While
Linking Words
 deforestation and over-cultivation are other significant causes of
land
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degradation
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,
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
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 more than half
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
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 chart and
the
Add a missing verb
are the
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 most popular
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 in Europe. 
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart, the most
Correct word choice
common reason
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reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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of
Change preposition
for
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 worldwide
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 problems are overgrazing, deforestation, and over-cultivation (almost a whole part of global causes). The
last
Linking Words
 among three is other problems, which is not good at all.  Another table shows that there is a significant difference between regions except big regions
such
Linking Words
 as Europe and North America, we can see a large group of islands
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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located in
South
Correct article usage
the South
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 Pacific called Oceania, which
is take
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takes
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 second place after Europe,
which
Correct your spelling
with
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total
Correct article usage
a total
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 is quarter of
land
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degradation
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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