IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Differemce between countriwes cbecome less evident each year. Nowadyas, all over the world peopl;e share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits asnd TV channels. DO the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Globalization has been a concern recently. It is because cultures start looking the same. Despite the fact that life may become easier when
countries
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 look similar, there is a risk of the next generation not only losing its cultural identity
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 it will be highly competitive to introduce
an
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apply
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outstanding work. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why there are more negative impacts of minimizing the
difference
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differences
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 between
countries
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 than positive ones. Culture has always been known as the people's identity in
a
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the
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 place they used to live. the clothes they wear, the
food
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 they eat and their
habbits
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habits
.
Moreover
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, TV shows reflect different cultures.
However
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, when people around the world dress up the same way, young kids
my
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may
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 not be
attched
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attached
 to their traditions and
by
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over
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 time they may lose their identity.
For example
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, a Hot Pot is a very popular Chinese
food
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 in Canada. More young Indian kids prefer having it more than their traditional
food
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 like Hundi, which causes them to be less connected to their traditional
food
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by
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over
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 time.
Also
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,
this
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 will hide their unique traits, which will limit their future opportunities. The other reason is
increrasing
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increasing
 the level of competition globally
,
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 because many
indiviuals
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individuals
 will share the same talent or profession.
As a result
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, it would be more challenging for candidates to get a job because of the large number of applicants with the same qualifications.
For instance
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,
food
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 competitions have become more challenging recently
due to
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 chefs' global knowledge of all international dishes. In my opinion, the negative effect of having fewer differences between
countries
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 is a serious threat. In conclusion, the differences between
countries
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 are getting less.
However
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, the disadvantages have more impact on communities than the advantages. Cultural heritage and competitiveness should be considered.

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task achievement
Consider improving the introduction to clearly state the advantages and disadvantages to frame your argument better.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammar mistakes, such as 'habits' and 'attached', as these small errors can affect clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to make your points more distinct by developing them in separate paragraphs or sections for clarity.
task achievement
You've successfully highlighted the cultural implications of globalization, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow and structure, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural convergence
  • global community
  • international relations
  • economic interdependence
  • cultural heritage
  • homogenization
  • consumerism
  • throwaway culture
  • carbon footprint
  • global warming
  • environmental degradation
  • fast fashion
  • processed foods
  • public health
  • local economies
  • multinational businesses
  • economic decline
  • economic diversity
  • economic resilience
  • job creation
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