IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the years 2000- 2008 intended to stay in the UK, and the pie chart shows the reasons for migration in 2008. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the years 2000- 2008 intended to stay in the UK, and the pie chart shows the reasons for migration in 2008. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph shows intended length of stay of immigrants to the
UK
Use synonyms
, between 2000 and 200.
However
Linking Words
, the bar chart gives data about why they
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 to the
UK
Use synonyms
 in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 in the line graph the highest percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 stayed in the
UK
Use synonyms
 maximum
2
Change preposition
of 2
show examples
years
Use synonyms
, in the bar chart, most of
individuals
Add an article
the individuals
show examples
 went to the
UK
Use synonyms
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
. As the graph shows, at the beginning, around 150,000
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 stayed in the United Kingdom for 2
years
Use synonyms
 in 2000, followed by a significant increase to 250,000 in 2004.Afterwards,
this
Linking Words
 figure experienced fluctuations, and by the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 it remained at 250,000 in 2008.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
stayed
Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
show examples
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 for 4 or more
years
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 approximately 148,000
people
Use synonyms
 and it experienced
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who stayed in the
UK
Use synonyms
 for four or more
years
Use synonyms
 was approximately 148,000 in 2008, and it experienced a decline.By 2003, it had declined to 147,000,
however
Linking Words
 over the next three
years
Use synonyms
, it fluctuated with an upward trend, reaching about 152,000 in 2006, before consistently decreasing to just over around 147,000
people
Use synonyms
 in 2008.From 2000 to 2008, the smallest proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 stayed in the
UK
Use synonyms
 for between two and four
years
Use synonyms
, even
it
Correct word choice
though it
show examples
 did not grow to just under 100,000. As the chart shows, there were several reasons for migration to the United Kingdom in 2008, but the main reason was for working with 38%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, 32% of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 went to the
UK
Use synonyms
for studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
.In terms of accompanying or joining family, it was only 16%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, 7% of
people
Use synonyms
 moved for other reasons, or no reason was stated.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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