IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the years 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK, and the pie chart shows the reasons for migration in 2008.

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the years 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK, and the pie chart shows the reasons for migration in 2008.
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The line graph shows intended length of stay of immigrants to the
UK
Use synonyms
, between 2000 and 200.
However
Linking Words
, the bar chart gives data about why they went to the
UK
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 in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 in the line
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
 the highest percentage of
people
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 stayed in the
UK
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maximumof
Correct your spelling
maximum of
 2
years
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, in the bar chart, most of the individuals went to the
UK
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 to work. As the graph shows, at the beginning, around 150,000
people
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 stayed in the United Kingdom for 2
years
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 in 2000, followed by a significant increase to 250,000 in 2004.Afterwards,
this
Linking Words
 figure experienced fluctuations, and by the end, it remained at 250,000 in 2008.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
people
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 who stayed in the
UK
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 for 4 or more
years
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
approximately 148,000
people
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 and it experienced a decline.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
people
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 who stayed in the
UK
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 for four or more
years
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 was approximately 148,000 in 2008, and it experienced a decline.By 2003, it had declined to 147,000,
however
Linking Words
 over the next three
years
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, it fluctuated with an upward trend, reaching about 152,000 in 2006, before consistently decreasing to just over around 147,000
people
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 in 2008.From 2000 to 2008, the smallest proportion of
people
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 stayed in the
UK
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 for between two and four
years
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, even though it did not grow to just under 100,000. As the chart shows, there were several reasons for migration to the United Kingdom in 2008, but the main reason was for working with 38%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, 32% of individuals went to the
UK
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 to study.In terms of accompanying or joining family, it was only 16%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, 7% of
people
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 moved for other reasons, or no reason was stated.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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