IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Stress is one of the main problems for todays. What are the causes and effects of stress?

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Stressful
people
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 and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 have become ubiquitous in the world. Most
individuals
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 undergo difficult times
due to
Linking Words
 their stressful lifestyle. There are myriad reasons contributing to
stress
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,
as well as
Linking Words
 a number of long-term effects on
people
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.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
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 causes are related to lifestyles that are filled with
stress
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 and concerns. Financial
problems
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 play an imperative role in contributing to
stress
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. Most
people
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 suffer from a low amount of income, and they cannot manage their lives and take care of their families.
This
Linking Words
 case forces
individuals
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 to work more than one job. Overworking degrades
people
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’s lives because those who work overtime are generally exhausted and think about
problems
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 and solutions to battle/improve bad circumstances in their lives. Thinking about
this
Linking Words
 issue may impose
stress
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, bad interrelations among family members or regular misunderstandings between co-workers affect the way of living
for
Change preposition
apply
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people
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. It makes
individuals
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 feel bad and leads to
stress
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.
Stress
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 has serious influences with its
bringing
Correct word choice
apply
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side effects on
people
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, being always
stressful
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stressed
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 and thinking about those issues makes
individuals
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 hopeless and disappointed in
life
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. It can lead to mental and physical health
problems
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 because when
people
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 are stressed, they cannot eat well and enjoy their
life
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. These lifestyle choices cause serious illnesses and health
problems
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,
such
Linking Words
 as cancer, hair loss, and insomnia.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
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’s deportments are affected—
as a result
Linking Words
 of a stressful
life
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,
individuals
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 cannot have fun in
life
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 and become bored.
This
Linking Words
 influences relationships with other friends and acquaintances. In conclusion,
stress
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 is caused because of bad conditions of living in the world, and the effects are degraded health and relationships with other
people
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, you can include statistics on stress levels in certain demographics or cite studies that link financial stress to health outcomes. This will enhance your argument and provide a more comprehensive understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, you might want to enhance the flow between paragraphs by using clearer linking phrases. For example, using transitions like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your introduction, try to present a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you'll discuss. This can help set expectations for your reader and give them a roadmap of what to expect in the essay.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well, but you could strengthen it by briefly reiterating how stress affects individuals overall, reinforcing the importance of addressing these causes.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both the causes and effects of stress in a clear manner, indicating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction successfully sets the stage for your discussion on stress, capturing the reader's attention with the concept of ubiquitous stress in modern life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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