IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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It is argued that investing
money
Use synonyms
 into
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
such
Linking Words
 as exploration of other planets looking for life is a smart way to spend
governments
Change the noun form
government
show examples
money
Use synonyms
. Other people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that we must solve the current
exinting
Correct your spelling
existing
exiting
 problems on
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 before thinking
at
Change preposition
about
show examples
 space explorations. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will present both these
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 and explain why, in my opinion, looking for life on other planets is a waste of public
money
Use synonyms
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some people believe that the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population is more and more increased in the
last
Linking Words
 decades, and
as a
Linking Words
consequence
Add a comma
consequence,
show examples
 we need more space to live in
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because our
earth
Use synonyms
 is not enough.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they might think that at the present
day
Add a comma
day,
show examples
 we run out of the necessary resources to live in health,
such
Linking Words
 as potable water and quality food.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, they
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that the only possible solution is to move away from our planet
tryng
Correct your spelling
trying
 to
colonizing
Wrong verb form
colonise
show examples
 another one, in which
bulit
Correct your spelling
builds
 a better society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 some people think that there is nothing that our community can do to
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
 our
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and solve the issues present
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our planet, others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that if we invest public
money
Use synonyms
 into more realistic solutions we could have more chances to rehabilitate the
earth
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
scientist
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 experts suggest that even the smallest actions, like do the separate waste collection or do not waste water, have a big impact on the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the government is
resposible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
 public
problmes
Correct your spelling
problems
, and even if someone thinks that looking for life on other planets might be a great solution, in my perspective, there are
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of projects in which the public authority must invest its
money
Use synonyms
 to save the
earth
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Your essay clearly presents both views, but the arguments could be developed more extensively. Try to provide more specific examples and details to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas; sometimes, the transition between sentences can be smoother. Utilizing linking words can help improve coherence.
Language Accuracy
Watch for spelling and grammatical errors that may distract the reader. Proofreading your work can help catch these mistakes before submission.
Task Achievement
You presented both views of the argument, which is essential for this type of essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your points reflect a clear understanding of the topic, and you have made an attempt to structure your essay logically.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion restates your opinion well, providing a clear end to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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