Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both views anf give your opinion ?

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There are differing opinions on what is the best
ways
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way
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for reading
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to read
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the
news
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.
While
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some believe newspaper is the most effective method, others say that other
media
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such
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as
Youtube
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YouTube
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or Internet
news
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platform
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platforms
show examples
could be better.
This
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essay will look at both views and explain why I think online
media
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is greater than traditional
newspaper
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newspapers
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. On the one hand,
online
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the online
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environment can offer many advantages which can't be given by paper.
To begin
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with, online
media
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provide
Verb problem
allows
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us to see real-time responses of people, leading to
exchange
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the exchange
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their opinions about
news
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.
For example
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, I saw the
news
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of the impeachment of
president
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President
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Yoon-Seok Yeol in Korea, and many people participated in the discussion by leaving
a
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apply
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comment
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comments
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on the
internet
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Internet
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.
Moreover
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, online
media
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allow us to
acces
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access
the
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apply
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information
more
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apply
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faster compared to traditional
media
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. If we can't see the
news
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faster, we will be able to lose the opportunity to express our opinion to
public
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the public
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.
On the other hand
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, many people argue that there are various
side-effects
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side effects
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to
replace
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replacing
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the position of traditional newspapers
by
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with
show examples
online
media
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. It is true that providing
informations
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information
pieces of information
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too
faster
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fast
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can cause the misconception of fact.
This
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is because many broadcasters do not verify the facts
while
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trying to deliver the message to the public as quickly as possible.
However
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,
this
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is the responsibility of
bradcast
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broadcast
stations, not the users who read the
news
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through online
media
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.
Furthermore
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, it is claimed that online
media
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is not readable, but these days, as technology has advanced,
this
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problem has been solved. In conclusion,
while
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there are many arguments both for and against reading
news
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through newspapers, I personally believe that other
meida
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media
like online
news
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platform
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platforms
show examples
enable
to
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one to
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read
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news
Add an article
the news
show examples
more
efficently
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efficiently
compared to paper.

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Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear opinion, make sure to restate your opinion in the conclusion to reinforce your stance clearly. Additionally, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Some transitions could be enhanced to improve coherence. Using linking phrases such as 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', or 'In contrast' can help enhance logical flow between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some of your vocabulary and expressions could be improved to enhance the quality. For example, instead of 'provide us to see', you could say 'enable us to witness'. This would enhance your lexical resource.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for the task achievement criterion.
Task Achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, such as the example of the news on Yoon-Seok Yeol, which adds credibility to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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