It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In present days, the most number of citizens including children are more likely to spend their evenings in open environment places like parks and gardens. In my perspective, It is
basic
human need to have Add an article
a basic
the basic
a peaceful surroundings
near their homes.
I strongly believe thatCorrect the article-noun agreement
a peaceful surrounding
peaceful surroundings
,
it is Remove the comma
apply
essiential
to have a piece of land with greenery to inhale Correct your spelling
essential
the
pure oxygen and feel to fresh air. To illustrate Correct article usage
apply
this
, The Linking Words
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
people
wish to play outdoor games Use synonyms
comparing
to indoor. Wrong verb form
compared
This
kind of Linking Words
people
need some Use synonyms
place
to play and enjoy their holiday times.The little Use synonyms
one's
feel suffocating if they Change noun form
ones
spent
more time in apartments and closed living rooms. To reduce Wrong verb form
spend
this
Linking Words
effects
, If there is a playing station which makes them feel close to nature gives them some kind of relief. Fix the agreement mistake
effect
Moreover
, it is the best Linking Words
place
to make friends and Use synonyms
meeting
new pupils.
Wrong verb form
meet
Secondly
, Some public are habituated to walk in sunrise and sunset times.For old Linking Words
Use synonyms
people
it is more important to do walking. Add a comma
people,
However
, The women with Linking Words
pregenency
and Correct your spelling
pregnancy
early
Add an article
the early
an early
lady
who gave birth have more Fix the agreement mistake
ladies
necessity
of Fix the agreement mistake
necessities
this
environment. Linking Words
For example
, Particularly at festival Linking Words
times
the individuals conduct the cultural programs to celebrate. In Add a comma
times,
this
case, Linking Words
public
Add an article
the public
need
to gather at a Fix the agreement mistake
needs
place
. If there is Use synonyms
a
open Change the article
an
place
it is easy to make celebrations.
In conclusion, As far as I am concerned, it is Use synonyms
meaningful
thing to give some space to parks and gardens. It is more Add an article
a meaningful
benefical
to all Correct your spelling
beneficial
kind
of ages like Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
childrens
,Correct your spelling
children
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
people
,older ones etc. I agree Use synonyms
to
the point Change preposition
with
the
where towns and cities should have larger outdoor places.Correct your spelling
that
pranithaparasagani
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task achievement
Your introduction could clearly state your position on the topic right away. Consider rephrasing to be more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use proper grammar and spelling to communicate your ideas effectively. There were a few inaccuracies that made your points less clear. For example, 'essiential' should be 'essential', and 'benifical' should be 'beneficial'.
coherence and cohesion
Consider linking your ideas better between paragraphs. Transition words like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' can help guide the reader through your thoughts more smoothly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples of why parks and gardens are important for different age groups, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Your points about the activities people engage in at parks are insightful and demonstrate a good understanding of community needs.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite