It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In present days, the most number of citizens including children are more likely to spend their evenings in open environment places like parks and gardens. In my perspective, It is
basic
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a basic
the basic
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human need to have
a peaceful surroundings
Correct the article-noun agreement
a peaceful surrounding
peaceful surroundings
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near their homes. I strongly believe that
,
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apply
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it is
essiential
Correct your spelling
essential
to have a piece of land with greenery to inhale
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pure oxygen and feel to fresh air. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, The
school going
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school-going
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people
Use synonyms
wish to play outdoor games
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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to indoor.
This
Linking Words
kind of
people
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need some
place
Use synonyms
to play and enjoy their holiday times.The little
one's
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ones
show examples
feel suffocating if they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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more time in apartments and closed living rooms. To reduce
this
Linking Words
effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
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, If there is a playing station which makes them feel close to nature gives them some kind of relief.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is the best
place
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to make friends and
meeting
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meet
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new pupils.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Some public are habituated to walk in sunrise and sunset times.For old
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people
Add a comma
people,
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it is more important to do walking.
However
Linking Words
, The women with
pregenency
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
and
early
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the early
an early
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lady
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ladies
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who gave birth have more
necessity
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necessities
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of
this
Linking Words
environment.
For example
Linking Words
, Particularly at festival
times
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times,
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the individuals conduct the cultural programs to celebrate. In
this
Linking Words
case,
public
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the public
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need
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needs
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to gather at a
place
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. If there is
a
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an
show examples
open
place
Use synonyms
it is easy to make celebrations. In conclusion, As far as I am concerned, it is
meaningful
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a meaningful
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thing to give some space to parks and gardens. It is more
benefical
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beneficial
to all
kind
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kinds
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of ages like
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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,
middle aged
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middle-aged
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people
Use synonyms
,older ones etc. I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the point
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
where towns and cities should have larger outdoor places.

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task achievement
Your introduction could clearly state your position on the topic right away. Consider rephrasing to be more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use proper grammar and spelling to communicate your ideas effectively. There were a few inaccuracies that made your points less clear. For example, 'essiential' should be 'essential', and 'benifical' should be 'beneficial'.
coherence and cohesion
Consider linking your ideas better between paragraphs. Transition words like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' can help guide the reader through your thoughts more smoothly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples of why parks and gardens are important for different age groups, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Your points about the activities people engage in at parks are insightful and demonstrate a good understanding of community needs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public outdoor spaces
  • community events
  • social cohesion
  • community engagement
  • quality of urban life
  • physical activities
  • public health and wellbeing
  • environmental benefits
  • reduce pollution
  • urban wildlife
  • aesthetic appeal
  • inclusive access
  • economic benefits
  • local businesses
  • tourists attractions
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