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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts give information about the percentage of men and women who had driving licences in one European country in various years.

The charts give information about the percentage of men and women who had driving licences in one European country in various years.
These two charts illustrate the proportion of females and males who had
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
show examples
license
Use synonyms
 in one European country from 1976 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the
men
Use synonyms
 had the highest percentage of owning
driving
Add an article
a driving
show examples
license
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the women had the lowest in European countries between 1976 and 2006. In 1991,1996 ,2001 and 2006, the
men
Use synonyms
 practised driving
license
Use synonyms
 more than women. Accounting for 75% the average of
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 gender who had
driving
Add an article
a driving
the driving
show examples
license
Use synonyms
 in 1991. In following years, a slight increase in practising driving
license
Use synonyms
 activities with the
men
Use synonyms
 category in 2006. The proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 who had driving licenses was 60%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the performing driving activities from 1976 to 1991 to 1991 with the woman was slightly decreased.They only had 30% who had
Use synonyms
Add an article
a license
the license
show examples
license
Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
show examples
 in 1967
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
However
Linking Words
, in 1981 the average had increased until reached 44 in 1990.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
women
Correct quantifier usage
number of women
show examples
 who performed
this
Linking Words
 activity was a substantial increase from 50% in 1960

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words license, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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