IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the proportion of people aged over 65 years old in Germany, Canada, and the UK over a period of 50 years.

The bar chart shows the proportion of people aged over 65 years old in Germany, Canada, and the UK over a period of 50 years.
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The described bar graph indicates the rate of individuals aged 65 and over
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
three
Use synonyms
 different countries namely
Canada
Use synonyms
,Germany and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in
three
Use synonyms
 varied periods of time ,in 1980 ,2000 and prognosis in 2030. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 structure it is readily apparent, that the indication for Germany is the highest score in 2030,
while
Linking Words
Canada
Use synonyms
 shows the lowest point in 1980.It is
also
Linking Words
 obvious, that there is no
any decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 in the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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population for all
three
Use synonyms
 countries. The rate of residents in
Canada
Use synonyms
 was the
fewest
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 in the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the year,increased moderately and reached 15% ,it is estimated community of
Canada
Use synonyms
 will be more than 20 % in 2030. When it comes to
Gemany
Correct your spelling
Germany
,it is
crystally
Rephrase
vitally
show examples
 clear that the demonstrations growths equally ,5%,and will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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peak among
three
Use synonyms
 countries in 2030. One striking feature for
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 is that there is no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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big
changing
Replace the word
change
show examples
 in the inhabitants of
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 ,so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the numbers
changes
Change the verb form
change
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 weakly from 1980 to 2000,
although
Linking Words
 may boost in 2030,but can not be the maximum .
Additionally
Linking Words
 ,
Canada
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
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 in the same score in 2000.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, canada, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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