IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that young people should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Are disadvantages of this requirement greater than the benefits for the community and individuals?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the young generation should participate in
volunteer
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 to be useful to society. Some say
this
Linking Words
 job helps them to become more responsible and skilled,
while
Linking Words
 others reckon that anybody should be free in their choice of
activities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will consider the benefits and negative points of mandatory
volunteer
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for young
people
Use synonyms
. As
children
Use synonyms
 get older, it is necessary to teach them to be empathetic to other
people
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
 who do not go through socialization will have communication problems in the future. One way could be an unpaid social activity.
For example
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
helping old
people
Use synonyms
 with their everyday needs or cooking meals for the homeless.
Such
Linking Words
 kind of job lets the growing generation learn special communication skills and become considerate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, any requirements usually produce negative emotions in
children
Use synonyms
 so it can be useless to teach them by force. If a child especially a teenager is required to do something that he or she does not want to do, they will most likely do it with
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 greatest resistance. It concerns
volunteer
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 as well.
For instance
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 working as social workers would avoid any responsibility and
finally
Linking Words
, it would lead to conflict.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
volunteer
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 can be educational for
children
Use synonyms
 only in the case if he or she wants to participate . To summarize, the practice
forcing
Change preposition
of forcing
show examples
 the young generation to work without payment to help society has pros and cons.
Although
Linking Words
 the benefits are clear and include teaching
children
Use synonyms
 and helping others, it can not function properly without the child's will. So the society will get more profit
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if only motivated persons join volunteers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on your ideas further to provide more depth and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Good introduction and clear presentation of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Strong conclusion that summarizes the main points well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: