IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in. For this reason, private cars should be completely banned from o centers. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Reading the task, I would say that I can't completely agree that cars should be totally banned from
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 centre. As I currently live in London, if you have a
car
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 to get to the city centre you need to pass through the charge zones, there are three in total. Depending on your
car
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 type, you have to pay more or less. But it's not completely cancelled to use and that's what I agree on. As not every
time
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, you can get to work or home by public transport, underground
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc,they are always breaking down and having delays. Plus
to
Change preposition
apply
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all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, there are so many human beings everywhere that for families with children to get somewhere
quick
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quickly
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 and more
comfortable
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comfortably
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, it's just by
car
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, no matter
your
Correct word choice
whether your
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 personal one or taxi.
Also
Linking Words
 sometimes you need to happen
in
Change preposition
to
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 another place as
soons
Correct your spelling
soon
 as possible and if there is no
traffic
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, it's more quickly using your own transport. Of course, I agree there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more
traffic
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 and pollution
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 be brought but that's why I think different zones
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
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 to be
charged
Verb problem
added
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 to reduce
amount
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the amount
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 of cars which can get closer to
city
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the city
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 centre, as It is
happenig
Correct your spelling
happening
 now in London.
Addiotionaly
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Additionally
, after
certain
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a certain
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time
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, charges are not taken for zones, because after 6pm, citizen
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 likely not using that many
their
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of their
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machanical
Correct your spelling
mechanical
 friends, so there are
not
Correct your spelling
no
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traffic
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 and no
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 to
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
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 after
defined
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a defined
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time
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. So on the one hand, I do agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 reducing the amount cars in certain
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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 and zone to not let pollution
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 worse that
quick
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quickly
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 and
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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traffic
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, but on
thr
Correct your spelling
the
other
Change the wording
another
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 side, we need to remember we live in the
21th
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21st
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centure
Correct your spelling
century
 and we can
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
show examples
not have a
car
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, as it is more comfortable and faster.

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task achievement
Develop a more balanced response that clearly states your stance in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments and improve the flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all grammatical errors do not confuse the meaning and that sentences are properly structured for clarity.
task achievement
You have provided personal experiences from living in London, which adds a unique perspective to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay contains some relevant reasons for the necessity of cars in city centers, which demonstrates critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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