IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that government funding for schools should be spent on science subjects rather than on other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
here are different views on whether government funding for the schools subject
such
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 as
science
Use synonyms
 or it should be spent on other
subjects
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. I strongly agree that the
science
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 curriculum is more important than other terms at
school
Use synonyms
.The essay will discuss supportive reasons for
this
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 view and present my own opinion. On the one hand, there are several reasons that display the importance of spending a significant amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
science
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subjects
Use synonyms
 at
school
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 in today's world.
Firstly
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,
science
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 courses have a
lot
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 of essential skills for the students.
In other words
Linking Words
, it includes a crucial of natural elements that are important to the future of our generation.
For example
Linking Words
, the environmental system plants, and animals these topics are provide many experience and information for the pupils at
school
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 .It helps them to obtain knowledge and information to know how they discover and adapt
on
Change preposition
to
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 the environmental system.
In addition
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, it offers plenty of practical experiences on how they drink or plant new plants on the farm.
For instance
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, my brother graduated from
science
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 college and he had a
lot
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 of experience with the earth system.
Also
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, he had enormous logical ideas about the global warming issue.
This
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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he studied a number of
science
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subjects
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 in his major. So, these kinds of tasks provide students
many
Change preposition
with many
show examples
 practical resources in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Furthermore
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, studying
science
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 USE SYNONYMS academydepartmentfacultyhallinstituteinstitutionseminaryuniversitycollegediscipline It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. a requires expensive
money
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by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the government. To illustrate,
this
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 kind of
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subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a
lot
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 of
money
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 for statistics research.
For instance
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, the
last
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 study about climate change was in some private schools and spent a
lot
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 of
money
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according to
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 some research in some German schools.
As a result
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, students
obtain
Wrong verb form
have obtained
show examples
 many useful strategies to deal with our global warming issue in recent days.
This
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they have a
lot
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 of information about the nature of
this
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 creative study. In conclusion, though many
subjects
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 like math and Arabic courses are a perfect choice to support.
However
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,
science
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 is a beneficial subject in our recent
school
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. My perspective is, that
science
Use synonyms
 provides multiple useful potentials for generations in order to inhabit and adapt successfully. So, the government should supply
this
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 type of subject.

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content
Expand on your ideas more thoroughly and ensure each point is fully developed.
coherence
Work on the logical flow of your paragraphs for smoother transitions between ideas.
language
Use a wider variety of vocabulary to showcase your language skills without repeating the same terms.
relevance
Ensure that you provide clear examples to support your points, making them more specific when possible.
content
You presented a clear opinion on the importance of science subjects.
coherence
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government funding
  • education funding
  • science subjects
  • STEM fields
  • technological advancement
  • innovation
  • economic competitiveness
  • holistic development
  • curriculum
  • real-world applications
  • climate change
  • public health
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • adaptability
  • diverse student interests
What to do next:
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