It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Saving
money
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for the
future
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is necessary for everyone, like young
people
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.
This
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statement has positive and negative
part
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parts
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and
this
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essay will discuss them, before giving my personal opinion.
To begin
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with,
people
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who have to save
money
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for their
future
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can be for their goals. Every young person saves
money
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to make his goal come true.
For example
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, there was an interview in 2019 where
people
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were talking about achieving their goals and 83% of
people
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said that saving
money
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from younger ages for
the
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apply
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future
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goals is the first part to achieve it.
On the other hand
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, there are
people
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who
thinks
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think
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that saving
money
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is
the
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a
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waste of time because they do not know the value of the
money
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. There are
people
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who spend their
money
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as
quick
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quickly
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as they get it without thinking that they have to save it for their
future
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but there is one solution
for
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to
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this
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problem.
Solution
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The solution
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is to leave that kind of person without
money
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and after
that
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that,
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they will understand the value of
the
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apply
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money
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.
For
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example
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example,
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there was an interview in 2018 where parents had a son that never knew how
money
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is important for his
future
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. In the
interview
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interview,
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they said that they left their child without any
money
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and after some time he understood that
money
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is
the
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an
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important part of
the
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apply
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life. In conclusion, despite having problematic
people
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who do not appreciate the
money
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which can be fixed, there are
people
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who wants
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wants
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want
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to save
money
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for their dreams. In my opinion, saving
money
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is good not only for the
future
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but
also
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to gain some understanding that
money
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is the best friend in the
future
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life.

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task achievement
You should make sure to clearly state your stance in the introduction. Also, provide a stronger summary in your conclusion to encapsulate your key points.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly relates to the thesis statement. This will improve the clarity of your argument.
cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas and make your writing flow better.
task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of contrasting viewpoints, which is commendable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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