IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Saving money for everyone especially young individuals for their coming is really crucial. The essay will agree with the statement as it can create financial safety,
moreover
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, savings give young people more freedom in life and work.
To begin
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 with, starting to save resources at a young age helps people create a financial cushion for themselves.
That is
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 to say, when unexpected events happen, like sudden medical expenses or losing a job, they have some cash set aside to handle these situations.
For example
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, data conducted by First Chanal in Moscow has shown that 89% of humanity used their savings for medical treatment in 2019,
while
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 there was COVID-19.
Furthermore
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, having savings can offer young people greater flexibility and freedom in their personal and professional lives. So with a solid financial foundation, they can make choices without being constantly worried about their financial situation.
For instance
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, an interview was taken with Taylor Swift, where they discussed
about
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her teenage time
,
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 when she saved money for her future career, so when she was 19 , she had to choose a university, and she chose the one she liked the most without considering the annual tuition fee. In conclusion, it is really important to save money from an early time because it can help society in different situations.
Additionally
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 establishing the habit of saving from a young age is one of the most effective ways to achieve long-term financial stability. In my opinion, starting to save early ensures financial security, allows a person to take advantage of compound interest, helps prevent debt, and gives more freedom in making life decisions.

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Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states your position, which is great. However, consider rephrasing for clarity and impact. Instead of 'create financial safety', you could say 'establish financial security'.
Coherence
Ensure that your main ideas are fully developed. For example, while you mention the flexibility provided by savings, a more detailed example or explanation could strengthen this point.
Cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your writing. For instance, some sentences are slightly repetitive in structure, which can disrupt the flow.
Task Achievement
You effectively presented your argument and supported it with relevant examples, particularly the reference to Taylor Swift, which adds a personal touch.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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