Is it better to run your own business than to work for someone else? To what extent do you agree or disagree? (X)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many people dream of becoming entrepreneurs
instead
Linking Words
of working for companies or organizations. Some individuals believe that having one’s own
business
Use synonyms
provides more freedom and success,
while
Linking Words
others think that working for someone else is more stable.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both views and explain why running a
business
Use synonyms
may not always be the better choice. On the one hand, being self-employed can offer many advantages.
For example
Linking Words
,
business
Use synonyms
owners can make their own decisions, choose their working hours, and control the direction of their company.
In addition
Linking Words
, profits from a successful
business
Use synonyms
go directly to the owner, which can be very rewarding.
For instance
Linking Words
, many popular brands
such
Linking Words
as Apple or Amazon started as small businesses and later became global
companie
Correct your spelling
companies
company
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having a personal
business
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
brings a lot of pressure and risk. Not everyone has the skills, money, or experience to start and manage a
business
Use synonyms
. Many small businesses fail in the first year, and
this
Linking Words
can cause financial loss and stress.
In contrast
Linking Words
, working for someone else usually means a fixed salary, fewer responsibilities, and more job security. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
running a
business
Use synonyms
has certain benefits, it is not always the
better
Correct word choice
best
show examples
option for everyone. It depends on the person’s goals, resources, and personality. For many people, a stable job may offer a safer and more comfortable life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more depth. For instance, you could discuss the emotional satisfaction some entrepreneurs get from their work compared to certain job roles that might be less fulfilling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly. Phrases like 'In addition' or 'Conversely' can improve the flow between your points.
Structure
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the argument well, making it easy for the reader to follow your perspective.
Content
You provided a balanced view on both sides of the debate, which is an essential aspect of discussing varying opinions in IELTS essays.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: