Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlegde or experience

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Nowdays
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Nowadays
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, some high school graduate students have plans to go for travel or
work
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in a
job
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, before starting their education at
university
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. Traveling by themselves, and starting a
job
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, will help them to be self dependants, and to find what they are
intersted
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interested
in to
persue
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pursue
in their life. Going to
travell
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travel
to new places will teach them a lot
on
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about
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how to be
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a responsable
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responsable
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responsible
person
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people
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and how to solve problems when they face them, as they will be without an adult to
guid
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guide
them as they used to.
Also
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by
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apply
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starting a
job
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at
early
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an early
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age will help them after graduating
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university
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from university
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, as they will have more
adavantage
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advantage
advantages
than other students
whom
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who
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are freshly
graduate
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graduated
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without any
work
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expirence
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experience
, because they do have
work
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expirence
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experience
and they know the working field better than others, and they might have better connnections, all together will help them to find a
job
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more easily than other graduates.
On the other hand
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, the student will lose a year or half to have
this
Linking Words
expirence
Correct your spelling
experience
.
Which they
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They
show examples
could avoid
by
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this by
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traveling or working
durinng
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during
the summers
while
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they are at high school, and
whenn
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when
the
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they
show examples
graduate they continue their study and go
immediatly
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immediately
to finish their
university
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degree. Some
stuedents cann successed
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students can succeed
and
fing
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find
a good
job
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post
Add a hyphen
post-university
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university
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, without having to go to
travell
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travel
as they might
can
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apply
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not
afford
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be afford
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it or they are not
intersted
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interested
to to
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in
show examples
this
Linking Words
approche
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approach
. To summarise, both baths can
work
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and the students can keep
learninng
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learning
and
traveling
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travelling
show examples
to have
expirences durinng
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experiences during
high school and after
joing
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joining
university
Use synonyms
.

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language
There are some grammatical errors and incorrect word forms. For instance, 'travell' should be 'travel', and 'responsable' should be 'responsible'. Make sure to proofread your work before submission.
content
Try to provide more specific examples to back up your points. Instead of saying 'starting a job at an early age will help them after graduating university,' you might want to mention specific industries or roles where this is particularly helpful.
coherence
Improve the flow of your essay by using linking words and phrases to make connections between ideas clearer. For example, using words like 'however' or 'on the contrary' can help contrast arguments effectively.
task achievement
You have clearly identified both sides of the argument, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of traveling or working before university. This shows a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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