Nowadays children play computer games for long hours. They do not play old traditional games. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think it influences children in a good or bad way?

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These days, young generations are more likely to be addicted to technology, because they are being allowed to watch television and high-tone and colourful video songs from an early age.
This
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leads to babies not interacting with their mothers and they are less interested in
real life
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real-life
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toys and activities.
This
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will affect their life in many aspects. Starting with their communication skills, they will lose interest in people, they will not enjoy living in the moment and they
would
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will
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prefer watching entertaining shows or scrolling
in
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apply
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between social media apps. All of which will lead them
being
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to being
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more separated, anxious and not feeling belonging to others in their community. Which can contribute to more isolated behaviour and social anxiety.Their relationship with their family and friends might be affected as they will prefer to stay at home playing on the computer rather than go out with them.
This
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can affect
also
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their school grades and their future. As they will be distracted easily by the phone or computer. Their soft skills will be less than others, which will affect them in finding a good career. Awareness campaigns should be done regularly to educate parents
first,
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that screens should be avoided
to
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for
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babies under two years old and older
than
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and
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that they should have
limited
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a limited
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period only. Parents need to have restrictions on
Correct article usage
the uses
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uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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of any tech devices during the day and to be strict about it, including studying, entertainment, gaming or other uses. The young should know the risks and why they should have to
limitetthe
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limit the
time they spend on technology each day. Spending several hours in front of the screens can harm adults
as well as
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younger people.

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Task Achievement
Consider elaborating on your main points with more examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to have a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you'll discuss. This would help the reader follow your argument more smoothly. Additionally, provide a more definitive conclusion summarizing your thoughts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. For instance, phrases like 'Moreover' or 'On the other hand' can help link ideas effectively.
Task Achievement
You address the topic well, discussing both the negative impacts of technology on children's development and suggesting a solution through awareness campaigns.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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