IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

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Policymakers in many
countries
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 establish and introduce the maximum and minimum
hours
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 for workers because many
work
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 managers overload their employees without respecting the
work
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hours
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 and that could
leads
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lead
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 to serious health problems. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive trend that saves human rights ,
as well as
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 , the salary advantages from working overtime.
Countries
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 have defined and established laws to limit the working
hours
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 to control the workers in different jobs and protect them from their managers .
furthermore
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, a lot of bosses use their strong position to overload the workers with multiple tasks and make them spend extra
hours
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 in the workplace or at home without respecting their right to take a rest. Working for long
hours
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 without a break could lead to serious health and mental problems.
For example
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, nurses and doctors who
work
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 long shifts are at high risk of having
a cardiac problems
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cardiac problems
a cardiac problem
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 or depression because of the load of patients and procedures that take long
hours
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 without resting. For
this
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 policymakers and
lawers
Correct your spelling
lawyers
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 in multiple
countries
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 developed the idea of maximum and minimum
hours
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 for
work
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. The advantages of
this
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 positive step are to protect human rights and salary
bonus
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bonuses
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.
Moreover
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, when the law said that the maximum
hours
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 for working is 8
hours
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 and one hour break every four
hours
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 .It will save the employees energy that will improve their quality of life .
In addition
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 , they will feel respected by their managers which will improve the
work
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 quality. The other reason , is to protect their salaries, if they
work
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 for extra
hours
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 .
For instance
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,
a
Change preposition
for a
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worker who works more than 8
hours
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 , the company is responsible for giving the worker an extra salary or a day off based on the number of
hours
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 he spends on the task. In conclusion,
countries
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 moving to develop a law for protecting employees'
hours
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 , salaries , human rights and health status is a positive movement that needs to be encouraged to have a better quality of job and life.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly define your stance in the introduction. You mentioned it as a positive trend, but explicitly stating "I believe that limiting working hours is beneficial because..." would strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider breaking down some of the longer sentences to improve clarity. For example, "A lot of bosses use their strong position..." could be split to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
When providing examples, ensure that they are as specific and relevant as possible, such as mentioning specific studies or statistics related to long working hours and health outcomes. This would bolster your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You repeated phrases and ideas, like the impact of long work hours on health. Try to vary your language and structure to maintain reader interest and avoid redundancy.
Task Achievement
You effectively articulated the reason for introducing working hour laws and the benefits they bring, particularly focusing on health and human rights, which shows good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, which gives a strong closure to your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
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