IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more company are allowing employees to work at home/allowing student to study at home. Do you think is a positive or negative development?

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After
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 period, some companies and schools are continuing
allowing
Change the verb form
to allow
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
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/
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 at
home
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. In my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
, both positive and negative development could happen to
employees
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 and
students
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 with different personalities. In most common
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
, working or studying at
home
Use synonyms
 saves
time
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
community
Correct article usage
the community
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. People have more
time
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 to utilize.It could be
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to
employees
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 and
students
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 if they use
time
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 properly,
such
Linking Words
 as scheduling the plan today or learning more vocabulary. Take me as an example, I
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 one week per month. During that week, I practice English listening and reading before I
work
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Because I
save
Wrong verb form
saved
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 approximately one hour
community
Change preposition
of community
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time
Use synonyms
, I could improve my language skills. I am a positive and
dicepling
Correct your spelling
discipline
 person so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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working at
home
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 is a positive development to my personal skills.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
time
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 could be used to sleep more or play games. That says,
employees
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 and
students
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 might not
tresure
Correct your spelling
treasure
 the
time
Use synonyms
 they save and use it effectively. Worse is that they even don't
work
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 or
study
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 during
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
the
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 day. It might cause projects
delay
Add the particle
to delay
show examples
 or
study
Use synonyms
 ineffective. In my coworker's case, she sometimes
sleep
Change the verb form
sleeps
show examples
 during the working
time
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.
Bucause
Correct your spelling
Because
 she did not use her
time
Use synonyms
 properly, she failed to submit her report to her manager on
time
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. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, working or
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 at
home
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 will lead
negative
Change preposition
to negative
show examples
 development
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people without
dicepling
Correct your spelling
discipline
. In conclusion, I do not agree that there is a
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
definite
 positive or negative
depelopment
Correct your spelling
development
. I consider it depends on each person's personality and how a person
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 his or her
time
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. If
an
Correct article usage
apply
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employee spend
time
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 they save from working at
home
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 on improving their skills and knowledge, working at
home
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 is absolutely a
goodpoint
Correct your spelling
good point
. If
students
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 do not
study
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 when schools
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
 them to
study
Use synonyms
 at
home
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, they might not get good scores on exams
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 learn nothing from school.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. Make it more concise and straightforward to grasp your stance instantly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance flow. Some ideas could connect better, creating a smoother reading experience.
Language
Use a wider range of vocabulary and check for minor grammatical errors that could be fixed to improve overall quality, such as 'beneficial' instead of 'benificial.'
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of the topic by discussing both positive and negative aspects, which aligns well with the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Real-life examples from your experience and your coworker's help illustrate your points and make the arguments more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • productivity
  • cost savings
  • commuting
  • environmental benefits
  • carbon emissions
  • concentration
  • mental health
  • team dynamics
  • company culture
  • social interactions
  • disparity
  • resources
  • socioeconomic
  • engaging
What to do next:
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