IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that social skills are important for success in the workplace, while others believe that good qualifications are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In today's world, many think that a
worker
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 must have social
skills
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 to succeed in work.
However
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, others believe that good
qualification
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 is what actually matters. I believe that in order to succeed in the workplace, one should have a combination of both social
skills
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 and good qualifications. One major factor that improves the
worker
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's chance to succeed is to have social
skills
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. Social
skills
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 play a key role in the workplace as it improves the
worker
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's ability to communicate with the customers.
This
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 will enable the
worker
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 to understand the customers' needs, which is a key factor in any organization's success.
For instance
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, a mobile store employee with excellent social
skills
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 will be able to understand which phone will be a good fit based on the customer's needs. Another significant factor that improves a
worker
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's chance to succeed is to have good qualifications. A
qualification
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 like a degree or a diploma will provide the
worker
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 with a sufficient technical background and many other benefits
such
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 as critical thinking, problem-solving strategies, and analytical
skills
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 that would be
otherwise
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 difficult to obtain without a
qualification
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.
For example
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, an employee in a car service centre will be unable to fix the car if he does not have
excellent
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an excellent
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 technical background which is difficult to have without a
qualification
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. In conclusion, having a balance between social
skills
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 and good qualifications is key for a
worker
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 to succeed in any organization. Social
skills
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 will equip the
worker
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 with excellent communication
skills
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 that will enable the
worker
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 to satisfy the customers' needs.
In addition
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, good
qualification
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 is essential as it provides the
worker
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 with the required technical
skills
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.

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task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines your opinion, but you might want to enhance it by briefly mentioning why both skills and qualifications are considered important. This would provide a stronger foundation for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your thesis. This will guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples in the body of your essay. For instance, when discussing qualifications, you might cite specific fields where certain qualifications lead to better job performance.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You effectively highlight the importance of both social skills and qualifications, showing a balanced perspective on the topic.
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