It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? hat sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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this

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present world,

socialise

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socialising

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is one of the most significant

factor

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factors

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for

human-being

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human beings

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Therefore

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, Learning between the true and false is necessary for every

adoresent

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adolescent

However

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, I strongly disagree

about

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with

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usage

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the usage

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of vilolent to be a method of teaching. One

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apply

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apply

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disadvantage is that

vilolent

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violent

violence

from punishment may lead to other endless possible problems

such

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as self-harming,

cauing

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causing

depression, and mental illness. More specifically, the worst consequence

from

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show examples

punishment is domestic

problem

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problems

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. The relationship between

parent

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parents

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and

there

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their

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child

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could be physically damaged and mentally

sufferred

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suffered

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this

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problem could cause

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apply

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long-term problems

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for

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teenager

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teenagers

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them self

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themself

themselves

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and the

connection

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connections

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family

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the family

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On the other hand

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, I believe that teaching the difference between right and wrong can

encouraged

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encourage

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their

child

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to understand the

consequence

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consequences

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of the choices they

made

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make

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this

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is a magnificent

ways

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way

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to enhance their self-awareness since

they

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they are

they were

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still young.

Other

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Another

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benefit is that the

child

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could grow up

with

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great

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a great

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manner.

Lastly

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adorescent

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adolescents

adolescent

could be more respectful to other citizens when they become

teenager

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teenagers

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. As for the reason I

mension

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mention

mentioned

above, I believe that

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it is

it was

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necessary for the

child

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to learn the consequence of their activity.

However

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learning

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the learning

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method is a major factor that

need

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needs

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be consider

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be considered

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. The usage of

viloent

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violent

could let the disadvantage

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apply

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overcome the advantage.

nattawasprakinkijSat Apr 05 2025

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coherence and cohesion

The introduction could be clearer and more structured. Consider rephrasing the thesis statement to directly reflect your viewpoint on punishment for teaching right from wrong.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your thesis. The transitions between ideas could be improved for better flow.

task achievement

In your arguments, provide specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your ideas more persuasive.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors. For example, ‘vilolent’ should be ‘violent’, and ‘adoresent’ should be ‘adolescent’. These errors can distract from the content of your essay.

task achievement

Your awareness of the potential negative effects of violent punishment is commendable and shows critical thinking about the issue.

task achievement

You effectively identify the importance of teaching children the difference between right and wrong, which is central to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

218 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays number of older people select to live in retirement communities with other rather than living with their adults. Is it a positive or negative.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.