Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The growth of the technology industry has, without doubt, developed the number and the

efficency

Correct your spelling

efficiency

of digital tools able to monitor what

people

Use synonyms

say and do.

In addition

Linking Words

, the main problem of

this

Linking Words

development is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

most of the time, monitoring is conducted without

people

Use synonyms

's knowledge.

Linking Words

Consequently

Add a comma

Consequently,

show examples

the privacy of the individuals is violated.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, I firmly

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that the use of

instument

Correct your spelling

instrument

instruments

such

Linking Words

as cellphone tracking and security cameras

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

more drawbacks than advantages. First of all, nowadays more and more

people

Use synonyms

are thinking that, with the increasing number of crimes, the usage of hidden devices might be useful to identify the offenders and solve crime cases faster. Even if

this

Linking Words

idea is done with the right purpose, they do not consider what might happen if

Linking Words

this devices

Change the determiner

this device

these devices

show examples

ended up

into

Change preposition

show examples

the wrong hands.

For instance

Linking Words

, someone could use

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cellphone tracking to monitor the movements of their victims.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the violation of personal privacy in a domestic context is another reason why

this

Linking Words

instrument must be sold only to the public authorities and not be available for purchase by anyone.

Althought

Correct your spelling

Although

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

instruments are not created with a negative intention,

the

Change the word

their

show examples

utilize

Replace the word

utilisation

show examples

for keeping

undercontroll

Correct your spelling

under control

the movements of our household

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

with security cameras,

for example

Linking Words

, is becoming increasingly common.

To conclude

Linking Words

, owing to the fact that many

people

Use synonyms

have bad intentions when using

this

Linking Words

type of technology tools, the disadvantages are far more severe

that

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

the advantages. In my perspective, the sale of these devices must be exclusive to the

governament

Correct your spelling

government

and public authorities only.

cairoli.anna2002Sat Apr 05 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that those ideas are well developed with examples and explanations.

task achievement

Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging some of the advantages of technology monitoring before stating your opinion on the disadvantages.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy to improve clarity of your arguments (e.g., 'believe', 'instruments', 'the control').

task achievement

You provided a clear thesis statement in your introduction, which outlines your position on the topic.

task achievement

Your use of examples illustrated your points effectively, such as the mention of cellphone tracking being misused.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?
In this day and age, technological advancements have led to an increase in life expectancy and the strengthening of health in older people, thus enabling them to live an exuberant life. The following essay is going to discuss the positive effects it brings to society.
7
band
Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Mobile phones are becoming more common on a regular basis, which provide both positive and negative effects on people and society. On the positive side, it enables people to communicate with others more effectively and also revolutionises news broadcasting methods. On the other hand, relying on phones excessively could lead to several health issues, and also lacking some essential life skills.
7.5
band
More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport?
In contemporary times, an increasing number of inhabitants prefer to use personal vehicles rather than public transport. This essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind this tendency before outlining some viable solutions that the government should adopt to tackle it.
7
band
Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is undeniable that the development of technology now plays a vital part in our lives. These state-of-the-art devices or appliances can enhance both individual hard and soft skills. Some people might say these developments make life easier while others think that technological developments will push our potentials backwards. In the following paragraphs, both views will be outlined before the conclusion is reached.
7.5
band
You recently took a trip. In your absence, a friend did you a big favour. Write a letter thanking them. In your letter, include: ● what the favour was ● how this favour helped you ● an offer of compensation
I can’t thank you enough for looking after my dog while I was on my business trip to London. When I returned, I was over the moon to see my dear Labrador in good health and full of beans. It means a lot to me, since, you know, the pet is my bestie!

Fully explain your ideas

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Nowadays, the mobile phone plays a major role in our lives, which brings many benefits to us but also contains some drawbacks. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport?

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You recently took a trip. In your absence, a friend did you a big favour. Write a letter thanking them. In your letter, include: ● what the favour was ● how this favour helped you ● an offer of compensation