IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The table displays trends concerning the amounts of fast food consumed in Melbourne

The table displays trends concerning the amounts of fast food consumed in Melbourne
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he
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The
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 diagram illustrates the process of hydroelectricity generation, showing how
water
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 is used to produce and distribute electricity. The process starts with
water
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 being stored in a reservoir. When needed, the
water
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 is released through an intake and flows down a penstock, a pipe that directs it towards a
turbine
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. The force of the moving
water
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 causes the
turbine
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 to spin, converting kinetic
energy
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 into mechanical
energy
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. The
turbine
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 is connected to a generator, which transforms mechanical
energy
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 into electrical
energy
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.
This
Linking Words
 electricity is
then
Linking Words
 transferred to a powerhouse, from where it is distributed through
long distance
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long-distance
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 power lines to supply electricity to homes and businesses. After passing through the
turbine
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, the
water
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 is released back into the river, allowing the process to continue without significant
water
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 loss. In conclusion, hydroelectricity production is a renewable and efficient method of
energy
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 generation that relies on the movement of
water
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.

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, turbine, energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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