IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
experts
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, like doctors and engineers, have to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
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 where they have been
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 their job,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that they have to
work
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 at the
place
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 where they want to be.
Firstly
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay
discuss
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discusses
show examples
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
people
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 who want
from
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apply
show examples
experts
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 to
work
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 at the
place
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 where they did their training after about
people
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 who believe that they can
work
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 anywhere they want and
at the end
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will give my opinion.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 who think that working in the
country
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 where they did their training is better than working at
different
Add an article
the different
a different
show examples
place
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 is not good. Of course, they can teach rookies their lesson or even techniques to become
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 as well and
that is
Linking Words
 good.
For example
Linking Words
, there was an interview in 1987 where
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 were asking rookies about
their
Change the word
the
show examples
skills
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 that they
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieved
show examples
 at their
work
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 and almost 68@ of them said that they
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieved
show examples
 their goals
due to
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 their
experts
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' view to stay at the
place
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 where they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 been training for their job.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working at the
place
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 where
experts
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 want to
work
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 is a brilliant idea. They can
work
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 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
place
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 where they can improve their
skills
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even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
Use synonyms
work at
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
place
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 where
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
show examples
 more opportunities which can
also
Linking Words
 improve their ability
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
work
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.
For example
Linking Words
, there was an interview where
experts
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 were
telling
Verb problem
talking
show examples
 about new places where they always wanted to
work
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 and 72% of them
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
telling
Verb problem
saying
show examples
 that their
skills
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 were improved by almost 60%. In conclusion, working at the training
place
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 is good for rookies to improve their
skills
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,
while
Linking Words
 working at the
place
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 where
experts
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 want to
work
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by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own is good for improving their own
skills
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. In my opinion, working in another
country
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 is way better option than staying in the
country
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 where you got your
skills
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.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement to clearly present your perspective on the topic; this helps set the stage for your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence; use linking words effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to provide clear and accurate examples to support your points; this will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument clearly, which is a strong point in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, reinforcing your opinion on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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