IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want without paying on the Internet. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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It is argued that
paper printed
Add a hyphen
paper-printed
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 newspapers or books will not be bought by anyone in the upcoming life as
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
 will be available online
at
Change preposition
apply
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free of cost.
Athough
Correct your spelling
Although
 it will be more convenient and accessible, I believe that increased screen
time
Use synonyms
 will bring
vision related
Add a hyphen
vision-related
show examples
 problems. On the one side, if
content
Add an article
the content
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 of printed media
will be
Wrong verb form
were
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 available to read on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 without paying any fee, people would most likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
choose
this
Linking Words
 because of
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comforts
 and freedom of
time
Use synonyms
 and pace it offers. To
expain
Correct your spelling
explain
, individuals can get information from daily news or books anywhere at any
time
Use synonyms
 just
Change preposition
by scroling
show examples
scroling
Correct your spelling
scrolling
 their mobile screen. They do not need to go outside to buy these first which will not only save
time
Use synonyms
 but will
also
Linking Words
 make
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 free for getting special
time
Use synonyms
 to
reed
Correct your spelling
read
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Canada
Add a missing verb
is lke
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lke
Correct your spelling
like
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
 already offering
such
Linking Words
 facilities to citizens by making everything digital, converting peoples'
ay
Correct your spelling
way
show examples
 of life and providing more options.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, every coin has two sides.
Similiarly
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, it
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some drawbacks. spending more
time
Use synonyms
 in front of
screen
Add an article
the screen
a screen
show examples
 will
definately
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definitely
 cause eyesight
weekness
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weakness
. A harmful
redation
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reaction
reduction
redaction
 comes from digital media, resulting
loss
Change preposition
in loss
show examples
 of vision.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for certain
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 it is very difficult to read because of
small
Add an article
the small
show examples
 font size.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study conducted by Oxford University found that out of
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 people who use their mobile or computer for reading, eighty individuals suffered from stress,
lake
Correct your spelling
lack
show examples
 of concentration and difficulty in understanding
due to
Linking Words
 high
reasulation
Correct your spelling
resolution
regulation
 effects of their eyes.
Henec
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Hence
,
this
Linking Words
 trend will not be
appropiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 for long and daily use.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
nodoublt
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no doubt
, it will offer numerous benefits like availability.
However
Linking Words
, its demerits outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 as it can make
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 blind. So, I balanced approach will be
need need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to get its benefits.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument; however, be cautious of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that might confuse readers. For instance, phrases such as 'increased screen time will bring vision related problems' could be expressed more clearly. Consider phrases like 'increased screen time may lead to vision-related problems.'
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling mistakes. For example, 'Athough' should be 'Although,' and 'scroling' should be 'scrolling.' These minor errors can distract from your overall argument and professionalism.
coherence and cohesion
Try to include a wider range of vocabulary. Phrases like 'it will be more convenient and accessible' are common; exploring synonyms could enhance your writing. Consider alternatives like 'more user-friendly' or 'more accessible.'
task achievement
You outlined both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced perspective, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the reference to Canada, strengthens your argument and helps illustrate your points.
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