IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should tightly control the use of freshwater. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is widely argued upon issue that whether there should be an open hand to
everyone
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 regarding the usage of
water
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 or there must be some rules introduced by the
higher ups
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higher-ups
show examples
 for the well-being of humanity. Both of these views have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own merits but
i
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I
show examples
 personally think that it is necessary to put some restrictions on the proper usage of
water
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. First of all, just like food is the main requirement of
human
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the human
show examples
 body,
water
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 is
also
Linking Words
 one of the basic necessities without which the sustainability of humans is not possible. So there should be an equal opportunity for
everyone
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 to use
water
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according to
Linking Words
 their need.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a different demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 usage for
everyone
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 so there should be no discrimination in
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 supply. Just like the field of farming requires more
water
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 as
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to other
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 who use
water
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 only for drinking, cooking and cleaning.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
water
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 is one of the most precious natural resources without which no living being can live without.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is widely reported by the authorities of natural
reseviors
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reservoirs
 that
level
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the level
show examples
 of
water
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 is decreasing day by day so there is a crucial need
of saving
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to save
show examples
water
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. In
this
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 regard,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 can play its part and some proper rules and regulations must be imposed to stop the wastage of
water
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. Because if
this
Linking Words
 condition persists, not only us
even
Correct word choice
but even
show examples
 our generations will
also
Linking Words
 suffer. Keeping all these
point
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points
show examples
 under consideration there should be an equal right for
everyone
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 to use
water
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 but laws must
also
Linking Words
 be regulated to preserve
this
Linking Words
 scarce resource.

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly express your perspective and the main points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to create clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the flow of ideas and establish a strong link between your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments about water usage and scarcity, as this will strengthen your points and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument effectively, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates a good awareness of the importance of water as a resource and the need for its management.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Human right
  • Resource scarcity
  • Economic productivity
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Equitable distribution
  • Monopolization
  • Public health
  • Sustainability
  • Government regulation
  • Hygiene
  • Water quality
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