Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays children are more

indulge

Wrong verb form

indulged

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

indoor activities, which are mostly computer

games

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because a change in lifestyle has taken mammoth dimensions. Some people

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

it increases

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate in different

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

of the world. I will discuss my opinion on the later. There

many

Add a missing verb

are many

show examples

reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

increasing criminal activities in

this

Linking Words

era. The first thing,

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

games

Use synonyms

increased

Correct article usage

the agressive

show examples

agressive

Correct your spelling

aggressive

nature in the youngsters. Through the use of guns and other

dengerous

Correct your spelling

dangerous

products during the play.

For example

Linking Words

, The game name is "Pub G" which

is totally shows

Change the verb form

totally shows

show examples

violence.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is not stop

Change the verb form

does not stop

show examples

here, some gaming sites

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

promotes

Correct subject-verb agreement

promote

show examples

gambling between the kids.

For instance

Linking Words

, If they put

100

Change preposition

in 100

show examples

dollars,

than

Replace the word

then

show examples

they can win 200 dollars in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

small

Correct word choice

short

show examples

time.

This

Linking Words

both reasons increases violence and

short cut

Correct your spelling

shortcut

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

earning money

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young age of

child

Add an article

the child

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, the crime rate

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

day by day.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

modern era children

addicted

Add a missing verb

are addicted

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

games

Use synonyms

a drugs

Correct the article-noun agreement

a drug

drugs

show examples

The

Correct your spelling

They

show examples

just spend their all free time

front

Change preposition

in front

show examples

of the screen. Which makes them rude by their nature and

short tempered

Add a hyphen

short-tempered

show examples

The recent

Correct article usage

Recent

show examples

studies show that in India a boy committed

sucide

Correct your spelling

suicide

because his parents did not give

tab

Fix the agreement mistake

tabs

show examples

for fun.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many people just

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

to earn money, so they make

games

Use synonyms

which are more attractive without thinking that their product will

put

Verb problem

have

show examples

any bad effects on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I am inclined to believe that I

am agree

Change the verb form

agree

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

statement that playing violent

games

Use synonyms

habit inclined

Verb problem

leads to

show examples

the crime rate on different levels.

Through these

Change preposition

These

show examples

activities,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are poison for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and

put

Verb problem

have

show examples

bad

infulence

Correct your spelling

influence

on the

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

mind.

hk3519552Sun Apr 06 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your thesis statement and outlines the main points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Expand on your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Polish your grammar and vocabulary, focusing on correct word forms and spelling, to enhance clarity and professionalism.

task achievement

You have presented a clear opinion and addressed the task.

task achievement

Your examples, though needing more detail, show effort to relate personal experience and knowledge to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that do not have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?
For the most part of the modern life, the majority of humans have been living in cramped homes which lack outdoor spaces, as a result, the population of humankind has expanded and flourished in recent years, especially in cities and towns. The writer perceived this as a negative development and will explain it in the following paragraphs.
7
band
nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? has this been a positive or negative development?
Technology has affected human relationships by changing the way they interact. Asserting whether this phenomenon is positive or negative is based on the way it is used. However, i am of the opinion that its downturns outweigh its benefits.
6
band
It is difficult for people to get enough physical exercise in cities. What are the causes and solutions?
Nowadays, people living in urban areas cannot get sufficient physical exercise has become an increasing problem. From my perspective, this phenomenon is mainly caused by the lack of sufficient public areas in cities and the living pressures of people. There are several solutions that can be implied as below.
6
band
Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
t is true that medicines and other products are routinely tested on animals before they are cleared for human use. While I tend towards the viewpoint that animal testing is morally wrong, I would have to support a limited amount of animal experimentation for the development of medicines.
6.5
band
One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: • say how well you know your friend • describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has • explain why your friend would be suitable for this job
Dear my sport trainer. I am writing to you with a one request. I have one boyfriend. And nowadays he has summer holiday. I can describe him: he is a tall, handsome boy. If I am not mistaken, his height is 1. 75. He is studies at school number 1, in ninth grade, and he wants to work as a sport trainer in your gym. He adores playing football. My friend is good at playing football. If you hire him, you will never regret it. My boyfriend can teach to students, how to play football. By the way he knows three languages: Uzbek, Russian and English. And he can talk with all the students in these three languages. And I want him to work on your gym as a second sport trainer. I will be a happy, if you will give a work to him. I am waiting for your answer. You sincerely, Jasmine.

Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that do not have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?

nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? has this been a positive or negative development?

It is difficult for people to get enough physical exercise in cities. What are the causes and solutions?