IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people think that books are losing importance as a source of entertainment and information.to what extent do you agree

It is widely believed that the significance of literature is diminishing
due to
Linking Words
 cutting-edge technology. I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many reasons
such
Linking Words
 as
influence
Add an article
the influence
show examples
 of social
media
Use synonyms
 and accessibility. One key reason why
books
Use synonyms
 are not preferred by
people
Use synonyms
 for their entertainment and knowledge is social
media
Use synonyms
 websites, as it is generally observed that various online applications, namely Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Kindle, and so on, are prioritized by individuals which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 them to access any information at any time and entertain themselves as well.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to visit bookstores or libraries
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 knowledge.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, having limited content in
books
Use synonyms
 is another reason for declining the importance of printed texts, as through online reading applications,
people
Use synonyms
 can obtain knowledge about past years,
while
Linking Words
 paper
books
Use synonyms
 have limited content
due to
Linking Words
 which electronic
media
Use synonyms
 is prioritized.
Moreover
Linking Words
, affordability is
also
Linking Words
 responsible for losing
relevance
Correct article usage
the relevance
show examples
 of physical
books
Use synonyms
 because these are costlier than electronic
books
Use synonyms
 which diverts
people
Use synonyms
's opinion about purchasing journals.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Guelph that 65%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 preferred online reading rather than physical
books
Use synonyms
 and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of young
people
Use synonyms
 prioritized digital platforms, especially YouTube, for their entertainment. In conclusion,
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
, accessibility, and affordability are aspects which
encourages
Change the verb form
encourage
show examples
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 to use electronic
media
Use synonyms
 over printed
media
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging the importance of books in certain contexts or for specific audiences. This will help you achieve a more complete response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main idea and the transition between ideas is smooth. This will enhance coherence in your essay.
task achievement
Increase the depth and clarity of your ideas. Instead of stating that electronic media is preferred, explain why this preference might exist, avoiding vague phrases like 'limited content' and providing concrete examples instead.
content
Good attempt at addressing the prompt with a clear position taken in your introduction and conclusion.
content
The use of specific examples, such as the survey conducted by the University of Guelph, helps to substantiate your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: