IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think they have the right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe that governments should strictly control the use of freshwater as it is a limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The
use
Use synonyms
 of drinking
water
Use synonyms
 has been a global issue. Though
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
citizen
Change preposition
of citizen
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 states that humans have the authority to utilize as per their wish a few
dislikes
Correct subject-verb agreement
dislike
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this
Linking Words
 opinion. I am siding
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the second argument because
people
Use synonyms
 should
use
Use synonyms
 it wisely rather than overusing it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
be providing
Wrong verb form
provide
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explanation
Correct article usage
an explanation
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on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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viewpoints with supporting ideas and examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the earth is filled with 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 which is needed to feed all its children.
Hence
Linking Words
, many supporters argue that the audacity to conserve
water
Use synonyms
 and
use
Use synonyms
only
Correct pronoun usage
it only
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 when needed is useless and senseless.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are many ways
such
Linking Words
 as underground
water
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 resources, converting saline
water
Use synonyms
 into drinkable and making more wells to hold fresh
water
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therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 can harness it in
which ever
Correct your spelling
whichever
show examples
 way they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
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 without questioning its usage in their daily activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I am in agreement with those who believe that legal
legistratives
Correct your spelling
registrations
legislative
 must take
tough
Add an article
a tough
the tough
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decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 on whoever
try
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tries
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 to misuse or overuse aqua
water
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 since its quantity is reducing on a daily basis.
This
Linking Words
 is because many individuals
use
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 it for leisure activities like
to throw
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throwing
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water
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 balls and
to
Change the verb form
watering
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water
Use synonyms
 plants and trees. These
people
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 should be using tap or saline
water
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 in doing
such
Linking Words
 activities as nonsaline
water
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 is in
scare
Correct your spelling
scarce
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 abundance.
For instance
Linking Words
, many administrations have advised its
people
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 to
use
Use synonyms
 drinking
water
Use synonyms
 carefully as its quota is falling off
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 its usage should be limited to drinking and cooking acts rather than playing or to pamper household gardens. In conclusion,
whereas
Linking Words
 many hold up to
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
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 more pure
water
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 without restricting its
use
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, I side with those who suggest that law bodies should apply harsh moves on mortals depleting it because its mass is shrinking and
people
Use synonyms
 must employ it when needed and should
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 its worth and value.

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task achievement
Try to present both viewpoints with more balanced treatment. Expanding on the arguments of both sides before stating your opinion can enhance your essay's effectiveness.
coherence and cohesion
Improving transitions between paragraphs can help to create a smoother flow. Use linking words or phrases to connect your ideas better, such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
coherence and cohesion
Watch out for grammatical errors and word choices, such as 'legistratives', 'nonsaline', and 'aqua water'. Proofreading your work for spelling and grammar can improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets the context for the discussion, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
task achievement
The factual information about water scarcity is relevant and adds credibility to your argument, reflecting good awareness of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater
  • personal freedom
  • resources
  • daily necessities
  • environmental sustainability
  • depletion
  • regulation
  • distribution
  • underprivileged
  • future generations
  • conservative use
  • sustainable practices
  • monitoring
  • regulating
  • judiciously
What to do next:
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