IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to travel is travel in a group led by a tour guide. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
it is thought that the ideal way to travel is with a community led by a
tour
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 text disagrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that a
tour
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
 may not always be a qualified
person
Use synonyms
 and privacy in traveling is crucial to ensure full enjoyment. A
tour
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 is familiar with all
city's
Correct article usage
the city's
show examples
 places to go to is difficult to find.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, even if you were able to find him/her, how would someone be sure that
this
Linking Words
person
Use synonyms
 is in fact doing their job efficiently
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, what if the
tour
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
 is not in the mood for a full spin around the city? A better replacement is to use Google
maps
Capitalize word
Maps
show examples
 or any other platform that provides review tabs that a
person
Use synonyms
 can go through
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
be validated
Wrong verb form
validate
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 place
is deserved
Wrong verb form
deserves
show examples
 to be visited. Privacy is
also
Linking Words
 critical to make sure that the trip is enjoyable. A man who is responsible
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 where and when I will go next may result in a non-convenient experience.
Also
Linking Words
, time management may be hard to achieve, especially if
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
tour
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
 is busy with other clients.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 text strongly
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with the statement that encourages travelling around the world with the directions of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
personnel to
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 you where to go and when.
Reasons
Correct article usage
The reasons
show examples
 behind
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 disagreements were mainly the result of the difficulty to find
such
Linking Words
 a successful
person
Use synonyms
 and the value of privacy
that is
Linking Words
 invaded when relying on them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your position and the main points you will discuss. This sets the stage for your argument and helps the reader understand your perspective from the beginning.
Task Response
In your body paragraphs, work on developing your arguments further. Use more examples and explanations to strengthen your points. This will make your argument more convincing and informative.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a single point. This will improve the logical flow and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
Task Achievement
You present a clear disagreement with the statement, which is a good starting point for your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is present, which is important for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • organization
  • knowledgeable
  • itinerary
  • local customs
  • language barrier
  • freedom
  • flexibility
  • random
  • spontaneous
What to do next:
Look at other essays: