It is more important for the government to spend money on promoting the healthy lifestyle to prevent illness rather than on the treatment of people who are really ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Health

Use synonyms

is the most important part in order to make things

running

Wrong verb form

run

show examples

smoothly in life. It is said that authorities should spend enough on promoting

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

lifestyle than curing citizens of facing illness. I disagree with the notion

Correct word choice

that

show examples

, if

health

Use synonyms

is better it can achieve anything in life if not,

promotion

Correct article usage

the promotion

show examples

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle would not help.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is often seen

patients

Change preposition

in patients

show examples

in hospitals that they are encouraged by a number of

adds

Correct your spelling

ads

show examples

but still they do not follow them.

For example

Linking Words

, people always

look listen

Verb problem

think

show examples

that oily and fast food is not recommended for their

health

Use synonyms

but,

still

Add a comma

still,

show examples

they are seen eating fast food. So, promotion of any kind does not help.

Moreover

Linking Words

, thousands of dollars are spent on advertisements which display

eat

Wrong verb form

eating

show examples

healthy and

stay

Wrong verb form

staying

show examples

healthy but, nobody is focusing on them. They are often neglected by the public.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, if investment is

done

Verb problem

made

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

treatments it will perhaps, at least provide assistance in removing its roots.

As some

Correct word choice

Some

show examples

diseases are hard to get rid of

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

as cancer or

kidneystones

Correct your spelling

kidney stones

This

Linking Words

, type of

health

Use synonyms

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

can only be cured by spending on them rather than promoting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy lifestyles. In conclusion, it is significant that money

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

maintaing

Correct your spelling

maintaining

the body to return it to

Correct pronoun usage

its orginal

show examples

orginal

Correct your spelling

original

shape is far better and has an edge on healthy

adds

Correct your spelling

ads

show examples

Prabhjot Sun Apr 06 2025

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task achievement

The introduction should be clearer, stating your viewpoint more explicitly. Consider rephrasing to make your stance more evident.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that supporting points flow logically. Use transitions to connect ideas better.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, discussing statistics on healthcare spending or specific diseases could strengthen your points.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, summarize your main points clearly and reiterate your stance on the topic more definitively.

task achievement

You clearly indicate that you disagree with the notion of prioritizing health promotion over treatment, which is a good start for your argument.

task achievement

You present relevant ideas regarding the effectiveness of promoting healthy lifestyles, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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It is more important for the government to spend money on promoting the healthy lifestyle to prevent illness rather than on the treatment of people who are really ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

There should only be one government in the world rather than a national government for each country. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communications has had a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?