It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to solve this issue?

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There has been a growing debate about the surging offence rate in teenage crime

due to

Linking Words

violence glorified over social media platforms.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some people argue that

this

Linking Words

is the main reason, I believe

instead

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of inappropriate content on media, the main cause is family breakdown and poverty.

This

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essay will detail the reasons and provide possible solutions. There are several reasons behind

this

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issue.

Firstly

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, lack of parental guidance is likely to engage youngsters in criminal behaviour.

For instance

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, children growing

Change preposition

up in

show examples

violent households or without any supervision become desensitized and they usually

imitiate

Correct your spelling

imitate

initiate

actions from films and video games without knowing about its consequences

thus

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they commit illegal

act

Fix the agreement mistake

acts

show examples

before their adulthood.

Secondly

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, youngsters living in underprivileged areas often indulge in robbery,

pickingpockets

Correct your spelling

picking pockets

pickpockets

and drug abuse

due to

Linking Words

the lack of knowledge, education and financial resources.

However

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, there are effective steps that can be taken to combat

this

Linking Words

issue. One viable solution is

parents

Change preposition

for parents

show examples

must monitor their children's social platform consumption and teach

them

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

difference

Add an article

the difference

show examples

between entertainment and reality

also

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schools can conduct

couselling

Correct your spelling

counselling

programs so that it can improve

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

awareness and mental health. Another possible approach is the government should provide free education and allocate funds to support those individuals who are not able to get enough education.

As a result

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, teenagers will gain knowledge and skills that can help them to secure job opportunities.

To conclude

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

voilent

Correct your spelling

violent

media can contribute to juvenile crime, it is not the main cause. Consulting teenagers on

regular

Correct article usage

a regular

show examples

basis by their parents and teachers.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, higher authorities should support poor individuals to get educated and approach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

the only viable way to reduce youth offence.

amarbatth367Sun Apr 06 2025

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Task Achievement

The introduction clearly states your stance, but it could be more engaging. Consider rephrasing to capture the reader's attention more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the flow between paragraphs by using clearer transitional phrases. It will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples or data to support your claims. For instance, mentioning statistics on juvenile crime rates linked to family situations would strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

You have a clear stance on the issue which is essential for task achievement.

Task Achievement

Your essay includes potential solutions, showing critical thinking about the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to solve this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information; therefore, there is no need for printed books, magazines, and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?