The bar chart shows the percentage of elderly citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000, and 2030

The bar chart shows the percentage of elderly citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000, and 2030
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart shows the percentage of elderly citizens in three countries in 1980, 2000, and 2030
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The line graph displays the percentage of residents
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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aged above 65 in Canada,Germany and the UK from 1980 to 2000 and a forecast for 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
,there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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observed
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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significant differences,the figures for retired individuals witnessed a growth in all countries over the timeframe.It is readily apparent that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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elderly people constitute the
highest
Change the article
the highest
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indication in Germany,
while
Linking Words
the opposite was true for Canada. On the one hand,the rate in Canada began as the lowest observation,which accounted for 10% in 1980,
then
Linking Words
experienced an increase to 15 in 2000,
while
Linking Words
for the prediction the share will
amounted
Wrong verb form
amount
show examples
to approximately 22% in 2030.In terms of Germany,began at 15%,afterward increased slightly to 20% and will
be reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
peak
Add an article
a peak
the peak
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at 25% among all the given countries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
regards to
Replace the word
regarding
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the UK,the proportion comprised roughly 13% in 1980 and underwent a negligible rise to 15% in 2000 and will foretell at nearly 18% in the future period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic trends
  • elderly population
  • percentage
  • growth rate
  • projections
  • factors influencing
  • implications
  • comparative analysis
  • social services
  • economy
  • population aging
  • elderly care
  • statistical data
  • historical trends
  • future trends
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