IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important to give children the opportunity to make decisions from an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is important to give
children
Use synonyms
 the opportunity to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 from an early age. Giving
children
Use synonyms
 the ability to
maketheir
Correct your spelling
make their
 own
choices
Use synonyms
 helps them develop critical thinking skills and a sense of responsibility.
For example
Linking Words
, when
children
Use synonyms
 choose what clothes to wear or what activities to do, they learn how to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 based on their preferences.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 boosts their confidence and independence, which are valuable skills for their future.
However
Linking Words
, some people believe that
children
Use synonyms
 are too young to make important
decisions
Use synonyms
 and should rely on
adults
Use synonyms
 for
guidance
Use synonyms
. They argue that
children
Use synonyms
 may not always make the right
choices
Use synonyms
 because they lack the experience to understand the consequences of their actions.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is true in some cases, l believe that allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make smaller, age-appropriate
decisions
Use synonyms
 can still provide them with valuable lessons.
However
Linking Words
, some people believe that
children
Use synonyms
 are too young to make important
decisions
Use synonyms
 and should rely on
adults
Use synonyms
 for
guidance
Use synonyms
. They argue that
children
Use synonyms
 may not always make the right
choices
Use synonyms
 because they lack the experience to understand the consequences of their actions.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is true in some cases, l believe that allowing chilsome people believe that
children
Use synonyms
 are too young to make important
decisions
Use synonyms
 and should rely on
adults
Use synonyms
 for
guidance
Use synonyms
. They argue that
children
Use synonyms
 may not always make the right
choices
Use synonyms
 because they lack the experience to understand the consequences of their actions.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is true in some cases, I believe that allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make smaller, age-appropriate
decisions
Use synonyms
 can still provide them with valuable lessons. In conclusion, giving
children
Use synonyms
 the chance to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 from an early age can help them grow into responsible and self-confident individuals. Of course, it is important for
adults
Use synonyms
 to provide
guidance
Use synonyms
 when necessary, but allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make
choices
Use synonyms
 is a key part of their development.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt, but you could strengthen your response by expanding on the points made, particularly in the introduction. Elaborate further on the importance of decision-making for children.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious of repetition in your writing. For instance, some sentences are repeated verbatim. Make sure to vary your language and ideas more to enhance readability and maintain interest.
coherence and cohesion
Improving the flow between paragraphs can boost coherence. Use transition words or phrases to link your ideas more smoothly, helping the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
You present a clear argument in favor of children's decision-making, emphasizing benefits such as confidence and independence, which are well-supported by examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your argument, reinforcing your stance clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • confidence
  • self-reliance
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • consequences
  • creativity
  • personal growth
  • preferences
  • judgment
  • impulsive
  • guidance
  • boundaries
  • balance
  • oversight
What to do next:
Look at other essays: