IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution

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The topic is subjective and often sparks a debate. some folks contend that
ban
Correct article usage
a ban
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 on private vehicles is the only solution to traffic congestion,
however
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, other thinks that
this
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 is not an ideal approach. The essay will delve into both the views
along with
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 my own perspective. Proponents of the first view argue that personal mode of transit should be banned as it is the main reason for increasing the traffic jams on the roads. One prominent benefit of banning private cars is the reduction of pollution.
This
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 will be the first step towards saving the environment.
Moreover
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, it would alleviate the chances of accidents and make it easy for pedestrians to walk safely. Statistics reveal that there is a 78% reduction in accident rates after implementing strict rules and regulations
such
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 as banning private transportation. On the other side, there are some disadvantages associated with the banning of personal vehicles. first of all, it will increase the burden on public
carriage
Change the noun form
carriages
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such
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 as trains or buses.
for example
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, data collected by "The News Time" 80% of people opted
private
Change preposition
for private
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 vehicles as it offers them convenience and comfort.
secondly
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, it will be difficult for the people who live in rural areas as they do not have access to government carrying.
To sum up
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, no doubt, there are some pros of
this
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 notion,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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 its disadvantages cannot be ignored.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and flow of your argument by better linking your ideas. Use cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Provide more examples and evidence to support your arguments, especially in the second part of the essay. This will strengthen your position and make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
You have successfully introduced the topic and stated both sides of the argument clearly. This shows that you understand the complexity of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • privately owned vehicles
  • ban
  • city centers
  • traffic congestion
  • air pollution
  • noise levels
  • urban environment
  • public transport
  • environmentally friendly
  • healthier lifestyle
  • commuting
  • congestion charges
  • peak times
  • environment-friendly vehicles
What to do next:
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