IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

the chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010
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The bar chart illustrates the expenditure of
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
France
Use synonyms
 for different categories of goods in 2010.The Vertical axis shows how much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the horizontal one means the goods for which it
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
cars
Use synonyms
,books,cameras
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the bar
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 both countries
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
prefers
Add the particle
prefers to
show examples
 allocate more funding for
cars
Use synonyms
,and
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
 for
perfume
Add an article
the perfume
show examples
 industry.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,the
UK
Use synonyms
 endeavouring to spend relatively equal funding for each category, despite perfume.
Whereas
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
Correct article usage
a deminishig
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deminishig
Correct your spelling
diminishing
diminished
 trend from
cars
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cameras.In
total
Add a comma
total,
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 significantly more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 consumers' goods than
France
Use synonyms
 did. Starting from
weakest
Add an article
the weakest
a weakest
show examples
 category,which acquired approximately 160000 pounds from each country.The most expensive ones were
cars
Use synonyms
,
perchasing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
 450000 pounds,
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 less cost
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 for computers, 350000 by the
UK
Use synonyms
 and around 380000 by
France
Use synonyms
.
France
Use synonyms
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 less and less for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 categories.
However
Linking Words
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 can be argued that
France
Use synonyms
 allocates more money than
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 2
Correct your spelling
categories
catecoties
Correct your spelling
categories
 out of 5,in
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
 and
parfume
Correct your spelling
perfume
 areas

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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, france, cars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
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