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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the number of hours spent in a British university library by undergraduates, postgraduates, and the total student population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the number of hours spent in a British university library by undergraduates, postgraduates, and the total student population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The three pie charts illustrate the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent in a British university
library
Use synonyms
 by undergraduates,
postgraduates
Correct word choice
and postgraduates
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, and the total student population.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that on graphs 1 and 2, half of the
students
Use synonyms
 spend 1-7
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
library
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the
last
Linking Words
 graph, which shows that
postgraduetes
Correct your spelling
postgraduates
postgraduate
 spend a total of 15+
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
library
Use synonyms
 The number of undergraduates
spend
Change the verb form
spends
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 63% in the
library
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 from 1 to 7
hours
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 and only 9% spend more than 15
hours
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. The largest number of
hours
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 spent in the
library
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 are taken up by postgraduate
students
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. Half of all postgraduate
students
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 spend more than 15
hours
Use synonyms
 there on average
It is clear that
Linking Words
 those
students
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 who
has
Change the verb form
have
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 more high level than either undergraduates or other
students
Use synonyms
 spent many
hours
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
show examples

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, library, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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