IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society?

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Based on multiple observations and
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
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alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of countries have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 numbers of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
science
Add an article
a science
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subject
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 , because it is
complicated
Add an article
a complicated
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subject
Use synonyms
 and difficult to
study
Use synonyms
 and the new trend that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Add an article
the students
show examples
 now follow
it which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 .
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 problem,
their
Replace the word
there
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 will be a shortage in the staff in
medical
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the medical
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 field and high salaries to the employees from outside the country. Multiple
students
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 do not choose to
study
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science
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 as a
subject
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 ,
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
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 they choose
technology
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 or computer
science
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 subjects as they represent the future. To illustrate, multiple new jobs and needs
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 arise today, large companies like Amazon
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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student
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students
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 with a high degree in IT to achieve the financial
goal
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goals
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 of the company ,
employees
Correct word choice
and employees
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 in
Linking Words
this company
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these companies
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 have
a high salaries
Correct the article-noun agreement
high salaries
a high salary
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 and
ponus
Correct your spelling
positions
.Studying
science
Use synonyms
 needs time and money because it is
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 complicated and expensive
subject
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
collages
Correct your spelling
colleges
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 teach
science
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 need educational materials
such
Linking Words
 as dental
college
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colleges
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 dental chairs and other
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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,
therefore
Linking Words
 ,
students
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 need a huge budget to join
this
Linking Words
 type of
colleges
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college
show examples
.
Students
Use synonyms
 who
accepted
Add a missing verb
are accepted
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in
Change preposition
into
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 colleges
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to skip their free time and
hollaydays
Correct your spelling
holidays
,as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
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 the multiple exams and assignments . For these
reasons
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reasons,
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 student keep choosing other subjects to complete their education.
Students
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 differ
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 choosing
science
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 leads to
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
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 in one of the important
field
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fields
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 which is
medical
Replace the word
medicine
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,
also
Linking Words
Correct article usage
an inbalance
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inbalance
Correct your spelling
imbalance
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salaries
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in salaries
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between
Change preposition
among
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 workers.
In other words
Linking Words
,
less doctor
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fewer doctors
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 and nurses will graduate from college
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be a serious problem
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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on
Change preposition
during
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pandamics
Correct your spelling
pandemics
pandemic
 like Corona , which
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
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 a low quality
of
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apply
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services. To
compensates
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compensate
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the
Change preposition
for the
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 small number
in
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of
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 the health care practitioner the country will
brings
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bring
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 medical staff from outside they will take a high salary ,
need
Correct word choice
and need
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accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accommodations
 and transportation which will cost the
governoment
Correct your spelling
government
 a high amount of money. In conclusion, more
students
Use synonyms
 do not choose to complete their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the time and the money
requirments
Correct your spelling
requirements
 and the new era of
technology
Use synonyms
 fields. That will
Correct your spelling
affect
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effect
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affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society in
negative
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a negative
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 way like
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
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 number of medical staff and the high budget to
Correct your spelling
receive
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
 support from outside the country,

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task achievement
Develop your introduction to clearly outline the causes and effects that you will discuss later in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for grammatical accuracy and clarity to avoid small inaccuracies that can detract from your overall message.
task achievement
You've successfully identified relevant causes and effects related to the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and attempts to cover both the causes and effects of the issue.
task achievement
You provide specific examples such as the demand for IT professionals, which adds depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
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