Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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High levels of

sugar

Use synonyms

in processed

food

Use synonyms

and

beverage

Fix the agreement mistake

beverages

show examples

poses

Correct subject-verb agreement

pose

show examples

several

health

Use synonyms

problems. It is,

therefore

Linking Words

, a statement

claimed

Wrong verb form

claiming

show examples

that consumers who buy products with excessive

sugar

Use synonyms

are supposed to pay extra prices, which leads to less consumption of

sugar

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, I completely agree with the idea.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain the reasons why the measure is regarded as an effective way to

sovle

Correct your spelling

solve

the problem. One notable concept is that overconsumption of

sugar

Use synonyms

causes harm to our

health

Use synonyms

. Diabetes and high blood pressure are common diseases

reusulted

Correct your spelling

resulted

result

from the unawareness of how much

sugar

Use synonyms

consumed

Wrong verb form

consume

show examples

daily. In

this

Linking Words

case, schools are

prohibitted

Correct your spelling

prohibited

Change preposition

from

show examples

selling

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

these unhealthy snack

Change the determiner

this unhealthy snack

these unhealthy snacks

show examples

and

drink

Correct subject-verb agreement

drinks

show examples

to students to prevent them

getting

Change preposition

from getting

show examples

too much

sugar

Use synonyms

These are

Verb problem

This

show examples

evidences

Change the wording

evidence

pieces of evidence

shreds of evidence

show examples

show that the

health

Use synonyms

risk is being accentuated by the adopted policy in the educational place.

However

Linking Words

, it is hard to identify the amount of

sugar

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

each

food

Use synonyms

bought

Wrong verb form

buy

show examples

out of

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school. In

this

Linking Words

case, if the price of the product could reflect the level of

sugar

Use synonyms

involved , it should serve as a useful way to curb the longing for purchasing the

sugaray

Correct your spelling

sugar

food

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

,we get easy access to

buy

Verb problem

apply

show examples

processed

food

Use synonyms

which

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

higher

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

than suggested in our lives,

such

Linking Words

as foods in convenience

store

Fix the agreement mistake

stores

show examples

, drinks in boba shops and delicay served in fast

food

Use synonyms

restaurants. The higher the cost of buying

these

Change the determiner

this food

show examples

food

Use synonyms

, the less willingness we have to purchase. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

the enjoyment of dessert or

sugaray

Correct your spelling

sugar

drink is

refreshment

Correct article usage

a refreshment

show examples

to our lives, its potential

health

Use synonyms

problems brought by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overcomsumption

Correct your spelling

overconsumption

over-consumption

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

unneglectable. With higher

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

we have seen in the shops, it will

defintely

Correct your spelling

definitely

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

consumers to keep a healthy diet.

Hence

Linking Words

, I hold the view that we should pay more

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugary products.

fangyu199909Tue Apr 08 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to include a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points of your essay in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and maintains a consistent focus throughout.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your main points and show how they relate to your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Check for spelling and grammatical mistakes that may distract from your message. For instance, "sovle" should be "solve" and "reusulted" should be "resulted."

task achievement

Your introduction effectively presents your stance on the issue and sets the stage for your argument.

task achievement

You have identified relevant health problems related to sugar consumption, which is a strong point in your argument.

coherence and cohesion

The use of real-world examples, such as schools banning sugary snacks, adds relatable context to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The personal information of many people is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?