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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As countries have developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society?

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In recent years, smaller family sizes in several developed countries have become a pivotal trend.
This
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 issue was caused by economic pressure and full attention to their
offsprings
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offspring
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.
While
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 it brings many benefits to individuals and the government, it
also
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 challenges society in the future.  The foremost reason why people tend to have a small number of families is economic pressure. In the modern era, raising a child involves significant expenses related to education, healthcare, housing, and extracurricular activities. Many parents choose to have fewer children to ensure they can provide a better quality of life.
Additionally
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, women today are more likely to pursue higher education and professional careers, which often leads to delayed marriages and childbirth.
Additionally
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, the result of having a small number of relatives can be both negative and positive. In positive ways, parents can be more focused on their child's growth stages of education, self-improvement and more affection. Parents can give maximal financial support for necessity for family well-being and the government
also
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 may benefit from reduced pressure on public services
such
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 as schools and healthcare.
However
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,
this
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 trend
also
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 can have a long-term impact on society. A low population may reduce the workforce, causing economic stagnation and making it difficult to support an
aging
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ageing
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 population.
For instance
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, a country like Japan is  really suited for the issue. There are
labor
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labour
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 shortages and rising healthcare costs
due to
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 a declining birth rate.  In conclusion, the main
reason
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reasons
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 why
family
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families
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 took
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
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 for a small number
families
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of families
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 are
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 living
cost
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costs
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and changes in
woman
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women
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role
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roles
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. Even though a smaller family can have some benefits like giving more attention to their children, it
also
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 can bring problems in the future for society.

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task achievement
Expand on the positive and negative effects by providing more detailed examples or data.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve logical flow.
coherence
Use linking phrases more effectively for better cohesion between ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant reasons for smaller family sizes.
coherence
The introduction summarizes the issue well and presents a clear thesis statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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