In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extend do you think is a positive trand?

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There is no doubt that these
days
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we see shopping as
hobby
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a hobby
show examples
.
While
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in the past shopping was a routine task. In
this
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essay, I'm going to discuss
this
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topic and draw my opinion. Starting with these
days
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shopping, today we can order our food,
cloths
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clothes
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and
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apply
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etc.. from our
phons
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phones
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and
dosen'
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doesn't
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t
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require us
going
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to go
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to the
shpe
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shop
peresonly
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personally
.
In other words
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, applications like Jahaze and Amazon
offier
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offer
us
the
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apply
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shopping from
the
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apply
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home. In
addtion
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addition
,
this
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give
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gives
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people more
time
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to spend
in
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on
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the high important things than shopping.
For example
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, individuals will spend more
time
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with
there
Correct your spelling
their
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families and to go out with old
freinds
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friends
.
However
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, in the past people didn'
t
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have the luxury to order what they
need from
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needed
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the
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apply
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online like
know
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now
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. To illustrate, in the old
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days
Add a comma
days,
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they usually cook their food and rarely take it from restaurants.
Moreover
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, people back
then
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dosen'
Correct your spelling
doesn't
t
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had
Wrong verb form
have
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alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of
optoins
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options
if they need the supermarket they have to go
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
not like today.
Forn
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For
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instance,
in
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apply
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these
days
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we can use Jahaze and Ninja to get what we need from the supermarket
with out
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without
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wasting our
time
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.
Also
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,
nowdys
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nowadays
we
spent
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spend
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more
time
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in jobs so we don'
t
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have any
minuts
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minutes
to
wasted
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waste
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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shopping.
Nevertheless
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, traffic is another issue will face you if you consider shopping by
your self
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yourself
show examples
. In conclusion, I thank god we have the online
applicatons
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applications
application
that serve us and let us spend
most
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the most
show examples
time
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with our
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
and families, that
otherwise
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could be wasted in shopping.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your main argument and includes a thesis statement that aligns with the question prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to the spelling and grammar, especially for common words and phrases, to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to indicate the main point you're discussing in that section.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples or explanations to fully support your points.
task achievement
You have identified relevant examples to illustrate your points about the differences between shopping in the past and today.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and ties back to your main argument, which is a good practice.
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