Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think that the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that

children

Use synonyms

should be punished

Linking Words

due to

Change preposition

for

show examples

committing

crimes

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

there are some opposite opinions that

parents

Use synonyms

need to be penalised

instead

Linking Words

Parents

Use synonyms

are not always responsible for

children

Use synonyms

’s mistakes

owing to

Verb problem

for

show examples

several reasons.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there is no definite argument that

children

Use synonyms

coming from a family where they are fully loved

Remove the comma

apply

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will never make any mistake. It means that regardless of

parents

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

are likely to be affected by outside factors

such

Linking Words

as peers,

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

and so on.

For example

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, playing violent games for a long time can lead to aggressive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

which may result in

crimes

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Additionally

Linking Words

, in the case of genetics, some

children

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suffer from mental health problems including anti-social

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

that may come from schizophrenia, autism and ADHD.

Thus

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

should not be punished when these individuals make mistakes.

In contrast

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, there are certain reasons for the belief that

parents

Use synonyms

have to be punishable.

First,

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it can not be denied that

children

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have criminal gestures because of parental neglect and parental abuse which reflects

parents

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’ responsibilities for these

crimes

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For instance

Linking Words

, 85-90% of serial killers came from miserable families and witnessed domestic violence or even criminal

turtune

Correct your spelling

torture

fortune

of animals since they were small.

Accordingly

Linking Words

, it is

evitable

Correct word choice

evident

show examples

that

parents

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play a vital role in molding the psyche in

children

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Second,

Linking Words

parents

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have the most essential impact on

children

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’s development, their illegal actions can be consequences of

parents

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’ inappropriate nurture. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are some arguments that

parents

Use synonyms

should be penalised for

children

Use synonyms

’s

crimes

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, I strongly believe that

children

Use synonyms

are accountable for their own mistakes.

No matter

Rephrase

Whether

show examples

being a

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

, people have to take responsibility for their behaviour.

document.hanieTue Apr 08 2025

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task achievement

The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly stating both perspectives. However, it could benefit from a more engaging hook to draw the reader in more effectively.

task achievement

While you provide good arguments for both sides, some points could be better elaborated or connected more clearly to the main issue of accountability.

coherence and cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You might consider using linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Try to incorporate more diverse examples that reflect a broader understanding of the topic. This not only supports your arguments but also demonstrates the depth of your analysis.

overall

The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, which is an essential aspect of the prompt.

overall

Your conclusion clearly states your opinion and reflects on the arguments made, which concludes the essay effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think that the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Nowadays, more and more children acquire unhealthy eating habits. Why is this happening? What can be done to solve this issue?

Some People Say That Now We Can See Films on Our Phones or Tablets There Is No Need to Go to the Cinema. Others Say That to Be Fully Enjoyed, Films Need to Be Seen in a Cinema. Discuss Both These Views and Give Your Opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?