IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for research. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Nowadays, there are many activists supporting animal
rights
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 and are against their
rights
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 being exploited for any reason.
However
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, currently,
anmials
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animals
 are needed in
research
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 to prove the safety of a product or a medicine. I agree with the former statement
,
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apply
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 because
animals
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 are
a
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an
show examples
 essential part of scientific
research
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. In
this
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 essay, I am going to explore both sides of the argument. Every living breathing creature has the right to live on
this
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 planet. In
this
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 century, there are specialized organizations with the ultimate goal of protecting their
rights
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.
For example
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,
animals
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 should not be killed for no reason, and inflicting pain on these creatures is not allowed. Even though these
rights
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 are applied in many
counties
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countries
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, still there are institutions that experiment on
animals
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 for the reason
to ensure
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of ensuring
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 the safety of medicine used on human beings. Meanwhile, some of these product testing can cause harm, disease, or disability to
animals
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.
That is
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 why some argue that even for
research
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 purposes animal
rights
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 should not be disregarded.
On the other hand
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, many researchers and scientists support the idea of animal trials, because
as a result
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 of animal testing, they can avoid many consequences and side effects of intervention before approving it for human use.
Moreover
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, many of the side effects and symptoms of the product in the process of testing can be solved or avoided in
animals
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 first before patients.
For example
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, if scientists find out that the medicine can lead to a risk of developing another disease in rats, they can prohibit the use of it in hospitals. In conclusion,
animals
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 have
rights
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 that should be respected, but in some situations, humans must
to
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apply
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use them for essential reasons. In clinical
research
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, scientists need to experiment on
animals
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 to ensure the safety of interventions. In my point of view, currently, animal testing is significantly important in
research
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.
However
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, in the future, another replacement for animal trials should be found to prevent harming other creatures.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or detailed explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all points are well-developed and clearly linked to the central argument for a more coherent flow.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more varied sentence structures for greater fluency and accuracy.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and acknowledges both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced perspective.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets up the topic effectively and provides a clear direction for the essay.
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