Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, it is argued that

happiness

Use synonyms

is affected by how responsible an individual can be

while

Linking Words

others argue that it is affected by various other aspects.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

how

Correct word choice

and how

show examples

important it is to people and things that determine

happiness

Use synonyms

with examples in order to provide some light on the subject.

To begin

Linking Words

with ,

happiness

Use synonyms

is a very important aspect of life , it defines a person's mental status and health and can sometimes influence important decisions in life

while

Linking Words

at the same time determining how successful a person is.

This

Linking Words

feeling is a powerful one that ensures mental stability, it can even cure several diseases,

as well as

Linking Words

being the factor to define confidence.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can be life-deciding

Change preposition

show examples

several occasions.

Therefore

Linking Words

happiness

Use synonyms

is key in supporting individuals' lives.

Firstly

Linking Words

, financial status, the amount of money an individual earns, can be a common indicator

for

Change preposition

show examples

happiness

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

happiness

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

be measured by how successful a human is .

Thirdly

Linking Words

, it can

also

Linking Words

be calculated by observing how well a human faces commitments,

responsibilities

Correct word choice

and responsibilities

show examples

, in life.

Thus

Linking Words

happiness

Use synonyms

can be earned in a plethora of ways and

this

Linking Words

way is decided by a human's own lifestyle. In conclusion, every feeling has its own part in people's lives but

happiness

Use synonyms

plays the biggest role in shaping folk's lives.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is not just one factor that creates

happiness

Use synonyms

but a combination of factors which is why

happiness

Use synonyms

is a complex feeling .

ram.ash8009Tue Apr 08 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your introduction gives a general overview of the topic, but try to clarify your thesis statement more explicitly, outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This will help guide the reader better.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs are more clearly structured. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, and it should be easy to identify the point being made. Using clear topic sentences can enhance this.

task response

Though you mention some factors affecting happiness, the ideas presented could benefit from more in-depth exploration. Try providing more specific examples that relate directly to your personal experience, which would strengthen your argument.

task response

Your essay conveys the importance of happiness effectively and emphasizes its role in overall life satisfaction. This is a crucial point that many readers can connect with.

task response

You mention several factors that can contribute to happiness, indicating a breadth of knowledge on the topic. This shows a good understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

248 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

individual responsibility
personal mindset
proactive steps
self-improvement
socio-economic status
relationships
environmental conditions
external factors
positive attitude
pursuit of happiness
facilitate
hamper
proactive engagement
sense of achievement
conducive environment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Excessive sugar consumption causes many diseases. Some people think that it is the government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is the individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views
Consuming too much sugary foods may result in the majority of illnesses. While some crowds claim that the government should take action to restrict eating sugar, I agree with those who believe it is people's duty to pay attention to their food and how much sugar they eat.
7
band
An increasing number of people choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In today's world, cosmetic surgery has become a top priority for individuals seeking a more appealing appearance. In my view, this approach has advantages and disadvantages, profoundly impacting their lives.
6
band
when asked to choose between a life without workand working most of time , people would always choose not to work . do you agree or disagree?
To choose between an activity in which the public does not have to job and a soul that demands everyone to produce most of the occasion, there is a majority of people who want to live a activity with no production. However, this writer believes that humans need to be hard-working every day due to its benefits in financial enhancement and task promotion.
6
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?
Classes focused on art like painting and drawing, are just as crucial for children’s growth as other subjects, therefore they ought to be mandatory in high school. The author of this essay agrees with this viewpoint.
6
band
Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Currently, brick-and-mortar or physical stores are slowly vanishing, giving way to the onslaught of virtual stores. With the exception of a few disadvantages, online shopping has tremendous benefits and it will dominate the global business even more in the coming future.

Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Excessive sugar consumption causes many diseases. Some people think that it is the government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is the individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views

An increasing number of people choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

when asked to choose between a life without workand working most of time , people would always choose not to work . do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so they should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular.Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?