IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Work-life balance is a key to the ultimate satisfaction of life.
Therefore
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, many people are of the opinion that
working
Correct article usage
the working
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week
Use synonyms
 should be reduced and
employees
Use synonyms
 should be granted a longer break between working weeks. I support
this
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 view completely as there are countless benefits of
this
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 which are elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
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 the
further
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 essay. Several advantages can be put forth to support reduced weekly hours for
employees
Use synonyms
. The predominant cause is that a well-rested employee is far more productive than
employee
Add an article
an employee
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 who is working tirelessly for the majority of the
week
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,
Correct word choice
and, thus
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thus
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 not get
adequite
Correct your spelling
adequate
 rest.
Additionally
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,
this
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also
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enable
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enables
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 individuals to think
out-side-of-the-box
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outside of the box
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,
creativily
Correct your spelling
creatively
creativity
,
take
Correct your spelling
make
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 wise decisions, foster positivity in mind and increase productivity. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
employees
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 were able to take enough rest that their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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require
Wrong verb form
required
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 during the weekends.
Furthermore
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, the other primary merit of
this
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 is that humans are not born to keep working until their
last
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 breath. Their lives are meant to do other meaningful things
such
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 as finding their inner peace, keeping their body mentally and physically fit,
as well as
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 spending quality time with loved
once
Correct your spelling
ones
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.
Consequently
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, in order to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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live a
true
Change the adjective
truly
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 meaningful life, two holidays per
week
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 is not
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
, that’s why it is imperative that workers get additional weekly leaves.
To conclude
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, I fully support the perspective that the working
week
Use synonyms
 should reduced to allow workers for longer holidays. By
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
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this
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,
employees
Use synonyms
 will be more efficient than ever before
as well as
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 they will get the time to engage in other activities that are
trully
Correct your spelling
truly
 valuable for human lives.

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Task Achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay in detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the paragraphs transition smoothly from one idea to the next by using transition words and phrases, which can enhance the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Provide more concrete examples or real-world scenarios to support your points, especially in the second and third paragraphs, to enhance the clarity of your ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly states the writer's viewpoint and has a consistent opinion throughout the text.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument, reinforcing the stance taken in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: