IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion.

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Spending a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 for celebrating the big
day
Use synonyms
 in
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 is for a lot of people
necessary
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others think less
money
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 a good option for the wedding
day
Use synonyms
. I think that spending as much
money
Use synonyms
 as needed
for enjoying
Change preposition
to enjoy
show examples
 a
rememberable
Correct word choice
memorable
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 with family and friends is enough, I do not need
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high
top end
Add a hyphen
top-end
show examples
party
Use synonyms
. Getting married
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and spending
this
Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
 with family and friends is for most people very important
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
show examples
 why
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 do not hesitate to spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
. Having the greatest dress, the biggest cake or the
exclusivsed
Correct your spelling
exclusive
 venue
ia
Correct your spelling
is
 sometimes associated with the greatest and
Correct quantifier usage
most rememberable
show examples
rememberable
Correct word choice
memorable
show examples
party
Use synonyms
 for a wedding
day
Use synonyms
. Hoping that having the best things of all would make their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 as perfect as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be. For me having a few important
points
Use synonyms
 on the list like a good meal and drinks is worth
spenind
Correct your spelling
spending
 a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 for the big
day
Use synonyms
 in combination with a backyard
party
Use synonyms
 and maybe a
second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
show examples
 dress.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 are couples
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 think lots of
money
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on that
day
Use synonyms
 is a waste. They prefer a small family
party
Use synonyms
 with homemade food,
second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
show examples
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 and just a few people as the perfect
day
Use synonyms
 and rather think that the saved
money
Use synonyms
 could
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
be spending
show examples
 for better purposes. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 spending less
money
Use synonyms
 on not important
points
Use synonyms
 for a wedding is a good possibility to save
money
Use synonyms
 for later, but for me the combination of both saving and giving
money
Use synonyms
 for my own valuable
points
Use synonyms
 is important. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 the financial expenditure for a wedding
day
Use synonyms
 could be a combination of both
points
Use synonyms
 to make the
day
Use synonyms
 as
rememberable
Correct word choice
memorable
show examples
 as possible
while
Linking Words
 saving some
money
Use synonyms
 for other important things.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly outline the two opposing views and introduce your opinion more explicitly. Consider rephrasing your thesis statement for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more cohesive devices (like 'however', 'on the other hand', 'furthermore') to enhance the flow of your ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning typical costs for different types of weddings or real-life examples of how couples have saved or spent differently.
task achievement
You clearly present both viewpoints on spending for weddings, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your paragraphs is logical, and you address the question directly by discussing both perspectives and offering your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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